Sometimes, YOU are the gift

I saw Daniel early in the new year once, and asked if he had a nice Christmas. He is a thoughtful man, and he was silent for a few moments before he spoke. “I felt known this year.”

He went on to say that often the gift-giving in his family is a miss rather than a hit, but that year, the things he gave and received were resonant with meaning. I’ve thought of his words with nearly every gift I’ve given since.

When my great-niece opened her birthday and gradation gifts from me, she looked up and said, “I’ve never gotten gifts like these before.” The items were specific to her, for her, for her new place at the grownup’s table. They had meaning to her.

I’m at the stage where much of my energy goes to divesting my life, my home, my studio of too much stuff. As I purge, edit, sell and donate, I see that what I keep is beautiful in more than sentiment; there is a story, and there is soul.

Last month my blogpost for The Joy Factor was about the fifty days I spent celebrating my fiftieth birthday, seeing more than fifty people who have made my life rich. I was horrified at the mere thought of fifty gifts, so I asked each person for a favorite quote, poem, story or song—for words that had meaning. All of the gifts fit into one perfect journal, and make my heart sing when I read and reread it. I learned so much about the givers, and I have such sweet memories of the time I spent with each one.

What do you give the person who has everything? It’s been nearly a decade since Caroline Kennedy published The Best Loved Poems of Jacqueline Kennedy-Onassis. The back story is that Jackie asked, for Christmas, her birthday and Mother’s Day, that both Caroline and John read or recite a poem and give her a hand-written copy. Better yet, if the poem was original. The gift to the givers was a love of words and poetry.

With Christmas just days away, I think of the gifts over the years that have made me feel known. Sometimes they’ve been grand, but more often, simple. And few top the words in that journal from my 50th year, and the time I spent with each person. Sometimes, YOU are the gift.

Carpe diem
Rebecca