Take Gap. Give Gap. On excellence, joy and celebration.
I was thinking today about my friend Mark Pekar and what a joy he was in my life for more than twenty years. This
time last spring he was gravely ill and mere weeks away from hospice. In mid-summer, I was blessed to speak to a large crowd at his memorial service.
I shared that he “loved being the center of attention, yet he loved watching others shine. He loved succeeding, and equally celebrated other’s successes. ‘A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.’* His was a generous spirit.”
Memory of Mark was keen today as I visited with other long-time friends:
Sylvia is so proud of her grandchildren that she beams.
Donna had a breakthrough in establishing and enforcing emotional boundaries.
Betsy earned an A in a class from a professor who does not give A’s. (Free tuition at state colleges and universities in Georgia is a bonus that comes with Medicare and Social Security! I only have ten years to go.)
Charlie is also a returning student (though not even old enough for an AARP card) and will graduate Sunday, to embark on a new career for which he is splendidly suited and prepared.
Peggy and Gibbs are in a new home that fits them perfectly and makes them smile.
And my friend Carol, having regained some of the vision lost in one eye, is doing nearly everything she wants to do with resourcefulness and élan. She’s piecing a new quilt, and loved one of the fabrics so much that she hugged it.
There used to be a road sign on Lakewood Freeway that read
Take Gap
Give Gap
Give and take. Take and give. Everyone gets his or her turn to lead, or follow. Then it changes again.
Recent months have been exceedingly challenging, but the successes of treasured friends or family can make my spirit soar. Some days I share joy by lighting the candle. Other times, I find joy by having my candle lit.
Carpe diem
Rebecca
* Quote from Father James Keller
Joyful Persistence
My mastermind team is reading a chapter from Napoleon Hill’s “Think & Grow Rich” on the subject of Persistence. With this, I’m reminded just how important a ‘never give up attitude’ is to ultimate success. I often hear people say, “I just need one break, one chance, but nothing is happening for me.”
Hill says that “breaks” happen to those who make them happen, to those who are willing to continue on no matter what, to those who have an intense desire despite being surrounded by friends, neighbors and media all telling you, “You’re crazy, don’t you know it’s a terrible economy? Stop trying so hard, wait till things settle down and get better.” Wait? If Thomas Edison waited for a better economy we’d still be in the dark. If Henry Ford waited for a better economy we’d all be in better physical shape from walking all the time. No, they continued, they persisted, they did whatever it took to accomplish their burning desire.
Persistence is the key element to success. Breaks come when you continue moving forward in the face of fear, in the face of “no.” Breaks come when you continue connecting and creating relationships with people, when you continue educating yourself. And most of all, remember the JOY is in the journey. Enjoy each step. Enjoy every moment. Be persistent, keep moving forward and believe that with persistence you will achieve your ultimate success. Because you will.
Savor Your Successes
As the year comes to a close, I always encourage my clients to delay writing their New Year’s resolutions until they have written the current year’s success list. Why? Because you’re much more likely to be focused and confident that you can achieve new goals when you first acknowledge and celebrate your past accomplishments. Few of us take the time to do that.
Start by making room by writing numbers one through 20 down the left margin of your paper so you’ll list at least 20 successes. Consider what you’re most proud of this year, including family and friends, health, work, finances and fun. Then, go deeper to the lessons learned and gifts that come from disappointments and setbacks. Once your list is complete, share it with those you trust and encourage them to do the same. Celebrate all you’ve accomplished. Now you’re ready to write your resolutions! What are some of your successes this year?
Delicious Breadcrumbs
Wendy with the masters of passion, Chris and Janet Attwood
It has always been fascinating to me that parents and teachers expect kids that are getting ready to finish high school to know what they are going to be when they grow up. There is so much pressure for them to know much more then they can comprehend at seventeen years old.
Because of my life experience, I am an advocate of kids that do not have a clear idea about their career path to attend the University of Life for awhile. That is where I received my ChB degree from. I am a Compassionate Human Being and share this degree with pride. This break in formal education and training allowed me to really ponder what it was I wanted to contribute to the world. Sometimes this reflecting happened consciously and other times it was more on a subconscious level. Either way, it let me start to uncover what I was really passionate about.
Most people I know in their late thirties and early forties, have no idea what they want to be now that they are adults. They are meandering through life, creating a little of this and a little of that; somewhat enjoying the journey, yet not getting the most of what they want out of their life.
What do you want to accomplish? Do you have the seeds of the next Martin Luther King germinating? Maybe a little bit of Martha Stewart or even Emeril? Some people are here for a grandiose purpose, others for something that is a bit more tame. Whatever mark you are here to leave on the world, it all starts with knowing what is important to you and how to design your life around that.
Chris and Janet Attwood, authors of the NY Times Best Selling book, The Passion Test, say that our passions are the breadcrumbs that lead us to our purpose in life. The flavor of these breadcrumbs will change over time, however, they always guide you to the essence of what will bring you the most fulfillment and success in your life.
As 2010 comes to a close, take some time to uncover what your passions are and let them lead you to creating a new year filled with all of the things that you desire and deserve. Buy a book, take a class, hire a coach-whatever you do, find the breadcrumbs that will lead you home; home to living your purpose and being the best you can be—just for you!
Riding through discomfort
Most of us want to go in the direction of what we have envisioned, what we want for our lives. Most of us want to be happy, successful, and healthy. When we end up going where we don’t want to go, we assume something is wrong or someone made us take a wrong turn. Does that mean we are robbed of our joy? Does joy disappear when things seem “wrong”?
What if nothing’s wrong? What if joy is still breathing underneath, but life is designed to give us a few challenges so that we learn to navigate reality as the continuum of ebb and flow? What if it just takes something major to wake us up, to shake us up so we see how we were blocked from letting joy work for us?
It’s a humbling experience when we can climb out of the bottom of the hole, sit on the periphery and gaze over the big picture. By the same token, it can soothe our ruffled feathers and remind us that there is so much more going on in our galaxy than the issue with this person at work or that person at home. It’s then we can understand that our joy is still very much alive, using our daily experiences and challenges to expand. This awareness keeps makes us larger than our minds and lightens things up.
Can we see discomfort as a gift offering growth and something better? Bearing witness to that discomfort and how we respond (or react) can impede joy or welcome it in. Joy is out there regardless of whether or not we let it in. During the discomfort, we can trust that there is an ebb and flow to lead us to the other side. And on the other side, we will evolve and grow with more courage – because we held onto trust.
The Higher the Plane, the Closer to God?
In my past life, as a territory manager for Aveda , I would regularly hear hairdressers joke, the bigger the hair, the closer to God. It always made us chuckle.
I was on an airplane last week, flying to CA, my home away from home, I noticed something. Whenever I am on a plane or in a car for an extended length of time, my creativity soars! Have you ever noticed that? All I can say is woohoo!!!!
For the last 6 weeks, I have had a block in completing my book proposal. There are a couple of things in play here. One, my fear of success poked its little head into the picture and started playing with me, and I let it. Second, it is summertime and I usually want a bit more free time, which left me a bit unfocused. And third, I got a nasty sinus infection this summer that really made me slow down for a few weeks. This combination had me take my attention off of the proposal and put it on other things.
At first, I was very hard on myself about being blocked. I know that I cannot struggle through a proposal on a book about Joy! As I let myself experience the disappointment of being blocked and lowered the bar that I keep so high for myself, the energy shifted. When I allow myself to feel what I need to feel, instead of trying to stuff it and hide it, I let myself off of the hook and trust that everything is happening the way it is supposed to. The proposal will arrive on the agents’ desk at the perfect time.
With all that said, I am thrilled to tell you that I worked on my proposal on that plane trip—joy and creativity were in the house! I do believe that the higher the plane, the closer to spirit. Spirit and I are tight—we work well together.
Now, back to trusting my feelings and my process.
The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. The intention of this site is to offer you juicy nuggets that will increase your experience of joy and delight. Take a look around, grab something yummy and share the joy.
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