Oxygen
Loving can cost a lot but not loving always costs more, and those who fear to love often find that want of love is an emptiness that robs the joy from life. — Merle Shain
Canadian poet Merle Shain understood love. She declared: “If I were to marry again tomorrow, I wouldn’t give up one friend. I’d take them all with me as a sort of dowry and tell my new husband that he was getting a rich wife.”
I’ve always wondered about girls and women who leave their friends behind when a man steals their heart. I don’t get it. What I loved most about The Divine Secrets of the YaYa Sisterhood was the life-long friendships. Their husbands got a handful!
Last weekend I sat with three women whom I haven’t known long, but already feel that I know well. The breadth of self-disclosure was stunning, the honesty was liberating, the awareness motivating.
I’ve been thinking since about friends—the ones who bring me real joy, what makes them so valuable, and how they touch my soul with such depth, again and again.
There is always genuine interest, good conversation, and enjoyable companionship. We share similar values, but experience and beliefs different enough to be interesting, provocative, and moving. There is empathy and authenticity.
Those who love me most will tell me when I have peas in my teeth, and when I am wrong in my thinking. More, true friends inspire me to be and do my best. They mirror my strengths, and equally, my weaknesses. They’ll let me wallow for a while when things go awry—and they listen completely—then goad me to seek solutions. They nudge me to venture into new territory, and cheer me on whether I stumble or thrive. They laugh at my jokes. As a Native American friend would say, “They give me thunder.”
They are my champions. They give meaning to my life.
And I have the honor of doing the same for them.
Friends and family are oxygen for my soul.
Sister Time
Last week I was lucky enough to have a “sister day”. Since my sister Lisa has kids, the opportunities to have sister time are few and far between. It was a wonderful f day filled with lunch, gabbing and the main event-a manicure and a pedicure. As delightful as all of the things we did were, the best part of our time together, was just being together. I savor the relationships that I have where I can truly by myself.
Don’t get me wrong, I do express myself authentically all day, every day. It is the “sister” relationships where I can have the most fun, letting my hair down to blow in the wind. I am lucky enough to have other “sisters” in my life, women that love me as I am no matter what.
Spending time with Lisa last week reminded me how important it is to carve out time in my schedule to be with my soul sisters. The time I get to spend with these women, whether it is on the phone or in person feeds my spirit. This is a special type of self-care, the kind that keeps on giving for days on end.
Here is what each of my lovely sisters reminds me of:
1. Go with the flow. The best way to survive a busy life is to stay in the moment-thank you, Lisa!
2. Live your dreams. As the Universe presents opportunities, grab them and go-you can always readjust later—thank you, Bernadette!
3. You can do it. When you put your mind to something and move forward a little bit each day, you achieve what may have seemed unachievable – thank you, Sandra.
4. It is never too late. Even if your dream takes 5, 10, 20 years to manifest, if it is important enough to you, it will happen in divine order – thank you, Aunt Nancy.
5. Have fun with everything you do. There are a couple of sisters that remind me that I can choose to have fun with everything in my life—out with serious, in with fun! Thank you, Trish and Runa!
This list could go on for pages. I would love to hear what you learn from your “sisters”! Share with us, so we can enjoy the gifts of friendship with you!
The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. The intention of this site is to offer you juicy nuggets that will increase your experience of joy and delight. Take a look around, grab something yummy and share the joy.
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