it’s a beautiful day (in the hospital)
This spring, I went to the hospital for some big-time surgery. When I awoke and learned that I didn’t have cancer – as my doctor thought I did (yee ha) – the recovery, even with several bumps in the road, became a great opportunity to practice turning up the volume on joy.
Getting up and walking around the day after having my belly sliced was a requirement for healing, but it wasn’t an easy thing. Somehow, re-writing the lyrics to Diana Ross’ I’m Coming Out and singing them each time I did (I’m getting … up. I’m inching off the bed, shufflin’ cross the floor … ) helped. Eating the pudding they served with lunch did too. (Hospital food is notoriously bad, but pudding is almost always good.)
Hospital Fun
A few days after being discharged, I wound in the emergency room with a high fever/infection. My sister went with me, and as we waited for tests, and then for the results (dragging on until the wee hours of the morning) she took photos on her cell phone commemorating the adventure. One of the residents looked in on us as we were giggling and snapping photos saying: You are far too upbeat for someone with a 102 fever. I replied: Doc, I don’t have cancer; this is nothing.
Later, waiting for an MRI on a gurney in a hallway, I heard U2 pumping out of a radiologists’ office: It’s a beautiful day … don’t let it get away, and I bobbed my head in a makeshift dance. An attendant gave me a quizzical look as he came to wheel me into the room. Dancing? he laughed. How can you resist this song? I replied. He slowed down, listened and said, Yeah, I guess it is a beautiful day.
Even though I wound up having to be admitted to the hospital for three more days to fight the infection, friends brought magazines, I listened to plenty of great music on my iPod, wrote out my gratitude in my journal… and ate plenty of pudding.
While I’m sure it would’ve been a whole lot harder to be joyful if the surgery had gone another way, or if the docs didn’t get to the bottom of the infection quickly, still, with this experience, I saw clearly that when the going gets tough, choosing to be goofy, upbeat and joy-filled really can be the sugar that makes the medicine go down.
( … now, don’t let it get away, this beautiful day …)
Another Life Lesson from Wasabi
I have a name for most everything including my car and bicycle. My car’s name is Viv, after my grandmother and my bicycle’s name is Wasabi because of its color, my love for sushi and how much I love saying the word. These days I am spending a good amount of time on Wasabi as I train for my first Century in September. It’s amazing how many miles you need to put on when you are training to ride 100 miles in 1 day.
On Thursday mornings I ride with my friend Jen to Stone Mountain. A few weeks back we took a ride and I forgot to put air in my tires. I knew I should have made sure they had enough pressure in them, but I wanted to be at her place on time, so I did not pump them up. Off we went and after about 3 miles, I hit a bump and phew….flat tire. We both looked at each other and laughed at our lack of experience in changing tires. A fellow rider did stop and share his tools with us. Jen changed the rear tire like a pro and off we went.
I cannot help myself in finding lessons in all of my life experiences. Here are the two that came clear to me that day.
First, it was a reminder to listen to our old friend, Intuition. What I have learned is that the more I listen to her, the more she is there to support me-saving me time and energy.
Second, it felt a little like the way I can get with my self-care. I put it aside, because I do not feel like I have time, or I have to do something for someone else and then I get a “flat tire.”
Self care is the air in our tires that allows us to have a smooth ride. It is what gives us the ability to be there for ourselves and for the people that are important to us. Full tires allows for a smoother ride all around.
What will you do today to fill up your tires and enjoy a smooth ride?
Puppy Joy
I learn so much about raising my Joy Factor from my dogs.
Until recently, we only had Abbey Road, our Australian Shepherd. We just adopted Eli Moses Velcro Watkins a month and a half ago. He is a border collie/terrier/hound/wild man mix. Abbey is 8 years old and we think Eli is a year and a half or so. They have raised my Joy Factor in ways I could not have imagined. Watching them play with each other is so sweet – it fills my heart with joy. They truly exhibit the ingredients of raising your Joy Factor.
Passion is a way of life for them. Whether it is eating, playing, sleeping or stalking the squirrels, they do it at a 100%. When they want love, they ask for it. When they want to give love, they do – sometimes by licking my face in the middle of the night.
Authentic Expression is all that they know. They have not been taught to be anyone but themselves. They do not care what other people think. This is evident by a bit of their Self-Care. Who else can sit in the middle of a room of people and clean themselves in areas that I do not have to describe here today?
When they play, and they play hard, they have boundaries that they honor most of the time. When Abbey needs her own time, she takes it. Eli gets it and leaves her alone. They take a break and go at it again later.
My intentions today are to honor my passions at 100%, be myself and not let what others may think of me stop me from doing what I love. I will take care of my body and my spirit. I will take time for myself to re-energize, so I can jump back into the game feeling great. And most of all, I will wag more and bark less.
What do your pets teach you?
A New Recipe
Have you heard the story about the woman who makes a roast for dinner twice a month? Every time she cooks this dish, she cuts the ends of the roast off before putting it in the pan. After watching his wife do this for many years, her husband asks, “why do you cut the ends off and throw them away? ” Her response, ”my mom did it that way, so I do it that way. ” He asked, “Why did your mom do it that way?” She asked her mom that very same question and discovered that she cut the ends off because the roast did not fit in the pan that she used!
How many times do you do the same thing, because you have always done it that way – even when it is a waste of time, energy or roast?
Is it time to change your recipe? Here at the Joy Factor, we offer four delightful ingredients that will support you in not having to “cut the ends off of your roast” . Try this new recipe and see what it tastes like:
1 part Connection to Purpose – When you know what is most important to you and you line your life up with that, joy happens!
1 part Authentic Expression – My friend Laura Biering has a wonderful tag on her car, it says, B U Now. You are perfect as you are, share that with the world and your Joy Factor will increase.
1 part Self – Care – Fill your personal fountain with things that will allow you to be the best you can be for yourself and others. What can you do for your self today, that will fill your fountain and spirit?
1 part Strategic Optimism - Having a plan that supports you in choosing joy each day is a powerful structure that empowers you on days that you are less than joyful.
You get to choose how much of these ingredients to use in your recipe to live your best life. A dash of this, a pinch of that, a cup and a half of this. If you want different results, make different choices!
What will your new recipe be?
Is Your Fountain Full?
I love desktop fountains. They add such beautiful ambiance to a room. Have you ever been around one of those fountains when they do not have enough water in them? They make the most heinous noise. Liken yourself to one of those fountains. When you are full of what energizes you, it is easy for you to share that energy with others. When your fountain is empty, it is very challenging for you to add something good to your life or others.
The third ingredient to raise your Joy Factor is Self-Care.
What gives you energy? Think of activities that leave you feeling refreshed and alive. Those are some of things you can do to fill your fountain? I know, you don’t have a lot of time these days. Everything and everyone is moving so quickly- where can I squeeze in Self-Care? Try this- in five minutes, you can stretch and breathe, in 20 minutes you can catch up with an old friend and laugh, in 30 minutes you can make and enjoy a healthy lunch.
Using this delightful ingredient starts with pulling it off of the shelf and experimenting with ways that work for you and your family. Could this be the summer of self-care? Take five minutes and imagine what your life would be like with a little self care.
Cheryl Richardson , in her book Extreme Self –Care states…”The practice of extreme Self-Care forces us to make choices and decisions that honor and reflect the true nature of our soul.” She goes on to say, “While the whole notion of this might seem selfish or self centered, doing so actually allows us to make our greatest contribution to the world.”
Living a fulfilling life is a radical act. In the beginning, the act of self care may feel unusual. Yet, just as when you start any new habit, it takes a minute to feel comfortable. Go ahead—do something that feeds your spirit today and enjoy the wonderful impact it makes on your life and others.
Tomorrow’s tasty ingredient- Strategic Optimism. Want some?
Spin Lessons
It is amazing to me where gifts of wisdom show up in our life. It could be on the road, at the gym or even in the shower!
For the past 5 years or so, I choose a theme at the beginning of the year. This concept works best for me, better than resolutions-imagine that! I think of my theme as a touchstone for what I want to create this year. I love touchstones-I have quite a few of them. As an earth sign, they keep me focused and grounded.
This year my theme is Allowing. The essence of Allowing for me, is to keep my Joy Factor high, receiving what it is I desire in my life. In order to do this, I focus on loving myself and others unconditionally. I put my attention on the qualities that are present in the people I care about, not what is missing in them. It is a fun game that I get to play each and every day! Most days I do really well. Some days I have to roll the dice again. I am enjoying the journey, knowing that I am paving the way for more yummy things to show up each and every day.
When I go to spin class, I pay attention to my body in class. What reminds me to pay attention is watching other people. Today I was directly across from a woman that was clearly struggling through the session. I could feel her fighting her body to get it to do what she wanted it to do. I sent her some of my allowing energy. When I did that, it came right back to me. I felt my body release and get into the groove of the uphill journey. What was feeling hard, all of a sudden felt easier.
What is the point in working hard to get the results we want? Unless you really want to work hard, then go for it. Self-Care is about taking care of the self, for the sake of feeling good. Work easy, that is more in alignment with this component of The Joy Factor. When you can raise your Joy Factor, then you attract with ease-yummy!
How many times do we struggle along, because we forget to allow? Because we forget to give up resisting and just go with the flow. I take this reminder with me through today and days to come. One smooth pedal stroke at a time, will get us up the hill, so we can first enjoy the view and then cruise down for a bit.
Enjoy the ride of allowing my friends-I am off to the shower-what will show up there?
Happy New Year-Get Busy!?
At this point, we are half way through the first month of the new decade. If we look at the year in 2 week increments, we are approximately 1/26 through the year. Calculating like that is enough to lower your Joy Factor. Looking at it that way has me ask, “what have I got done so far this year?” Before I answer that question, I am going to tell you that where I am and where you are is perfect!
2010 started with us having Mars and Mercury in retrograde. I know this partly because of my theme for this year: Allowing. Part of allowing is asking for help, from seen and unseen sources. Seen sources are my marketing team, bookeeper, assistant, etc. In the unseen arena, I am learning more about the planets and how they support us, or not, in manifesting what we desire. Simply put, when a planet is in retrograde, whatever the energy of that planet is, it is going in the opposite direction. That makes the energy wonky. Mercury rules communication. That is why my computer crashed right around the holidays-joy, joy!
Retrograde also points us to slowing down and being more intentional. That was very challenging for me to be with at the beginning of the year. Easing into 2010 has been very different than the “full steam ahead” energy I have put out there in the past. I cried myself to sleep Monday, January 4th, wondering if I was ever going to get my drive back for the work I am so passionate about. Taking the week off between Christmas and New Years, partnered with a shift in planetary energy, can mess with your groove. I am so thankful that we get a new start each day; Tuesday, I was back in my groove, slowly, yet surely.
The essence of this message is, if you are noticing that even though it is the beginning of the year and you feel like you should be doing more than you are and you are not, be gentle on yourself and ask yourself these questions:
1. Are you focusing your energy on things that you are most passionate about?
2. If you are, where can you acknowledge yourself for what you have done, rather than beating yourself up for what you have not done?
3. What is one thing that you can do today that will move you closer to honoring what you want to create in your life?
As you focus on creating alignment with your theme, intentions or goals for 2010, remember to honor the components that support you in raising your Joy Factor.
What we are speaking to today is a combination of self-care and authenticity. Take care of your needs first and you will be able to express yourself authentically. If that means you need to spend more time marinating on an idea, before you move forward, so be it. Hold the intention that you are going to move forward. Set up the support and accountability you need and tap into that inspired action. It is from this place that you will fall madly in love with the life you lead and manifest all that you desire.
Shoes!
Don’t you just love this time of the year? Everyone is in a festive mood, catching up with old friends and making new ones. It seems like there is something to do almost every night! I was at a gathering on Sunday and met a woman that was sitting down amidst all the people that were standing When the people that were talking to her walked off, I asked her if she was holding court. We laughed and she said, “girl, these shoes are killing my feet and I have to sit down.” I looked down at her gorgeous black stilettos and could see why she was sitting immediately.
Just as there are a variety of shoes that people like to wear to parties, there are a variety of ways to take care of yourself during the holiday season. Here is my top 10 list of ways to take care of yourself and raise your Joy Factor:
1. Be comfortable-not just in what you wear, also in who you are being. Be authentic and real.
2. Everything in moderation! You all know how much I love to eat. If I had to deny myself of anything, I would not be happy. My rule of thumb is the sweets that I eat this time of year have to be home made-yum!
3. Take time for you-even if it is 30 minutes a day, find the time to take a walk, go to the gym, meditate or stretch-you are so worth it!
4. Acknowledge yourself for all that you have done today, rather than all that you need to do–what a concept!
5. Remember your gratitude attitude!
6. Choose joy–get that scarf out!
7. Do a random act of kindness. My favorite is to pay the toll on GA 400 for the car behind me.
8. Let go of your emotional baggage. If you are upset, scream in the car for a few minutes. If you are sad, go watch Seven Pounds with Will Smith. Move through the emotion-you will feel much better.
9. Do something that you have been procrastinating about. Call and make that dentist appointment or better yet, call your mother.
10. Wear comfortable shoes
If there is one thing that I know for sure about raising your Joy Factor, it’s that it is easier to do in comfortable shoes.
Take care of you this time of year. It will make you feel better than finding the best pair of comfortable shoes–on sale!
Crash!
Last week I was driving past a bunch of kids playing in a playground. They were having so much fun! As I was passing them, I watched a little boy, about 4 or 5 years old, crash his tricycle into the fence. It was hard to tell if he couldn’t stop, or if he was intentionally looking to bounce off of the fence. When I looked back, from the red light that stopped me, I saw that he got up, dusted himself off and got right back on his tricycle.
That kid inspired me and reminded me that there are times in our lives that we are going to “crash”. At that point, we have a choice. Do we get up, dust our knees off and keep going? Or, do we stop a minute, access the damage and make choices accordingly?
The key to raising your Joy Factor, so that you are living a life that you are madly in love with, is to be conscious about your choices. There is no right or wrong-only what is. If you can bounce back up like one of those weebles, remember them? Weebles wobble, but they don’t fall down. Take what you can from the experience and move on.
Everytime we are stopped on our paths, it is for a reason. Opportunities to make sure we are going in the right direction are presented to us again and again. When these choices arise, I invite you to use the components of the Joy Factor to support you in deciding what your next steps are. Is it in alignment with your Passions and Purpose, your Authentic Self? Does it support your commitment to Self Care and Strategic Optimism? Look there and then choose what your next steps are. In the meantime, look out for fences and remember to use your brakes-sometimes slowing down will prevent that crash! That is a another conversation for another day.
With conscious joyful awareness,
Wendy
Let’s Eat …
I love food! Not just eating it; talking about it, shopping for it, catching the first aromas of a simmering pot of goodness. There is something about all of the rituals that go with food that speak to me. I imagine some of it comes from growing up in a Jewish family. I remember my grandmother always saying “eat, eat, darling” and eat I did. Food took on many different meanings for me; some of them positive and some of them less than positive. For years, I would say it became one of my drugs of choice. It got to a point where I could consciously see myself eating, so I would not feel the negative things in my life. And of course, eating to celebrate is the best! Food and joy are intrinsically connected in my circle of peeps – not the marshmallow ones – my true friends. The difference now is how the consciousness of choosing and creating joy has taken this life-long relationship to the next level.
I recently listened to Christine Northrup talk about food and joy on her Power of Joy CD. She suggested really savoring your food. When you truly enjoy all that you are consuming, the body processes and uses the food in a different way. That is why there are some people that travel to Italy and eat their way through the country, enjoying every bite, do not gain a pound. When do I leave?
Since that is not happening anytime soon, why not try savoring and enjoying your food? I took Christine’s advice last night and chewed each bit of my beautiful dinner 30 times. It was amazing. The different levels of flavors that showed up in a plate of spinach, eggs and sausage were different than my usual 8 chews, another gorgeous example of the benefit of slowing down and savoring the joy of all that is. Pass the potatoes, please.
This week, why not slow down and savor something. It could be a meal; it could be time with your family; it could be time in the shower. You get to choose. Notice how this type of self care affects your joy factor.
The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor and create a life you are madly in love with. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. Visit often to read what the Joy Posse has to say, watch uplifting videos and gather other delightful resources that will make you smile. This is also a place to share what raises your Joy Factor - do tell! Let’s have the ripple effect of joy change the world!
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