Take Gap. Give Gap. On excellence, joy and celebration.
I was thinking today about my friend Mark Pekar and what a joy he was in my life for more than twenty years. This
time last spring he was gravely ill and mere weeks away from hospice. In mid-summer, I was blessed to speak to a large crowd at his memorial service.
I shared that he “loved being the center of attention, yet he loved watching others shine. He loved succeeding, and equally celebrated other’s successes. ‘A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.’* His was a generous spirit.”
Memory of Mark was keen today as I visited with other long-time friends:
Sylvia is so proud of her grandchildren that she beams.
Donna had a breakthrough in establishing and enforcing emotional boundaries.
Betsy earned an A in a class from a professor who does not give A’s. (Free tuition at state colleges and universities in Georgia is a bonus that comes with Medicare and Social Security! I only have ten years to go.)
Charlie is also a returning student (though not even old enough for an AARP card) and will graduate Sunday, to embark on a new career for which he is splendidly suited and prepared.
Peggy and Gibbs are in a new home that fits them perfectly and makes them smile.
And my friend Carol, having regained some of the vision lost in one eye, is doing nearly everything she wants to do with resourcefulness and élan. She’s piecing a new quilt, and loved one of the fabrics so much that she hugged it.
There used to be a road sign on Lakewood Freeway that read
Take Gap
Give Gap
Give and take. Take and give. Everyone gets his or her turn to lead, or follow. Then it changes again.
Recent months have been exceedingly challenging, but the successes of treasured friends or family can make my spirit soar. Some days I share joy by lighting the candle. Other times, I find joy by having my candle lit.
Carpe diem
Rebecca
* Quote from Father James Keller
what i “like” about FB …
My love affair with Facebook started as many classic love stories do … I hated the object of my love at first.
I was introduced by a 20-something colleague who said I HAD to sign up because it was the wave of the future for marketing and networking, but this 40-something was not convinced. My colleague was relentless, so reluctantly, I signed on.
Within a week, friends from high school found me; then a friend from college did too. Folks I hadn’t heard from in years came out of the woodwork. Then I started hunting down long-lost buds. I could see the marketing and networking potential, but more than that, I loved the social aspect; it was like being at the greatest reunion party ever – and I didn’t even have to dress up. (bonus!)
Because of Facebook, people I see less than I’d like due to our hectic lives - and people I haven’t seen in years – are suddenly part of my every-day life again.
My sister and I search for old videos (we have a fondness for the questionable classics of 60’s and 70’s radio/tv) just to make each other laugh; folks I knew from the coach training organization I worked for when I lived in northern California are always up to something cool, and I love learning about their stuff; friends I haven’t seen since I lived in Sydney keep me connected to my Aussie-identity; fellow life changers rally to support each other; folks from grammar school proudly post photos of kids and (gulp) grandkids.
We say hi, encourage, celebrate milestones and “meet” for virtual parties, making Facebook one of the best joy-expanders I know.
One thing that keeps the joy expanding geometrically? When I see something delightful in a friend’s post, I “like” it and/or take a moment to jot a quick comment. When I hear about something my friends might appreciate, I post a link. It’s so easy to do, and it sends those rippling good vibes out far beyond my reach.
And I really “like” that.
what i "like" about FB …
My love affair with Facebook started as many classic love stories do … I hated the object of my love at first.
I was introduced by a 20-something colleague who said I HAD to sign up because it was the wave of the future for marketing and networking, but this 40-something was not convinced. My colleague was relentless, so reluctantly, I signed on.
Within a week, friends from high school found me; then a friend from college did too. Folks I hadn’t heard from in years came out of the woodwork. Then I started hunting down long-lost buds. I could see the marketing and networking potential, but more than that, I loved the social aspect; it was like being at the greatest reunion party ever – and I didn’t even have to dress up. (bonus!)
Because of Facebook, people I see less than I’d like due to our hectic lives - and people I haven’t seen in years – are suddenly part of my every-day life again.
My sister and I search for old videos (we have a fondness for the questionable classics of 60’s and 70’s radio/tv) just to make each other laugh; folks I knew from the coach training organization I worked for when I lived in northern California are always up to something cool, and I love learning about their stuff; friends I haven’t seen since I lived in Sydney keep me connected to my Aussie-identity; fellow life changers rally to support each other; folks from grammar school proudly post photos of kids and (gulp) grandkids.
We say hi, encourage, celebrate milestones and “meet” for virtual parties, making Facebook one of the best joy-expanders I know.
One thing that keeps the joy expanding geometrically? When I see something delightful in a friend’s post, I “like” it and/or take a moment to jot a quick comment. When I hear about something my friends might appreciate, I post a link. It’s so easy to do, and it sends those rippling good vibes out far beyond my reach.
And I really “like” that.
bubblicious – spreading the yum one bubble at a time
Ten years ago I went to a wedding where they gave out little bottles of soap bubbles in place of rice or birdseed. When the bride and groom arrived at the reception, we greeted them outside in a shower of bubbles. It was delightful.
I became rather attached to my party favor, and so blew bubbles out the window of my car on the way home when I was stopped at a red light. I did it kind of absently … I just blew and watched as bubbles floated on the breeze. I followed one sparkly bubble over the roof of the car next to me and caught the eye of the man inside. He was grinning from ear to ear … laughing as bubbles swirled around his car.
It was so much fun that I did it the next day. And again and again. I began looking forward to the back-up I’d usually encounter at the tolls I went through en-route to work (back in the olden days before ez-pass, etc.). I loved how people responded to the bubbles. Kids waved. A guy on a Harley honked. Teenaged girls in a Beetle cheered and waved. A man pulled up beside me and called out: “Will you marry me?” (how I responded is another story entirely … perhaps I’ll tell that another time, joy factor peeps …)
One day I arrived at the toll booth and the woman inside waved me on … “He paid for you,” she said, indicating the car that sped on ahead of me. “He said thanks.”
Fast forward 10 years, and I’m still blowing bubbles out my car’s window. I’ve seen cranky faces stuck in 5 mile back-ups turn to smiles; I’ve watched notoriously merge-adverse New York and New Jersey drivers open up and give way with ease; and now I even keep small bottles of bubbles in my car to pass out to the happiest responders when I’m in particularly slow traffic.
Blowing bubbles out of the window of my car has an almost (forgive the pun) effervescent effect on the world. And what an easy and delightful way to make a difference … spreading a little fun and adding my bit to the cosmic joy-factor.
Give it a try; I highly recommend it.
Patience and Passion
What happens when you mix passion and patience? It is a recipe for delight!
My latest focus has been on The Passion Test. Some of you have experienced it. It has been life enhancing for me. The things that are showing up in my life are the things that I have been dreaming about for years.
Yes my friends, it sometimes takes years for us to align with our passions. It could also take days.
About a week after returning from becoming certified as a Passion Test facilitator in Seattle and gaining clarity on my passions, something very cool happened.
One of my passions is to add value to millions of people’s lives. I know that through coaching, training and writing that I am making a difference. I received a call from a writer of a local paper, The Champion, that I was the champion of the week for Dekalb County-how cool is that? 100s’s of people will be introduced to the magic I offer the world.
I could not have imagined that I would be recognized like that. That is the beautiful place of letting go of the “how’s” and focusing on the “what”.
Another piece of patience that has paid off-my gardenia bush gave me my first flower a couple of weeks ago. We are no longer gardenia bush killers–this is the third one that we have planted.
By just putting attention on what I wanted, loving it as it is and being patient, I got a bloom. I am hopeful and anticipating more and more blooms. Imagine what it will be like when it blooms in season!
Where is patience and passion showing up in your life?





