The Joy Factor

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Riding through discomfort

Posted by Juliette Mansour on August 30, 2010 · Leave a Comment 

Most of us want to go in the direction of what we have envisioned, what we want for our lives. Most of us want to be happy, successful, and healthy. When we end up going where we don’t want to go, we assume something is wrong or someone made us take a wrong turn. Does that mean we are robbed of our joy? Does joy disappear when things seem “wrong”?

What if nothing’s wrong? What if joy is still breathing underneath, but life is designed to give us a few challenges so that we learn to navigate reality as the continuum of ebb and flow? What if it just takes something major to wake us up, to shake us up so we see how we were blocked from letting joy work for us?

It’s a humbling experience when we can climb out of the bottom of the hole, sit on the periphery and gaze over the big picture. By the same token, it can soothe our ruffled feathers and remind us that there is so much more going on in our galaxy than the issue with this person at work or that person at home. It’s then we can understand that our joy is still very much alive, using our daily experiences and challenges to expand. This awareness keeps makes us larger than our minds and lightens things up.

Can we see discomfort as a gift offering growth and something better? Bearing witness to that discomfort and how we respond (or react) can impede joy or welcome it in. Joy is out there regardless of whether or not we let it in. During the discomfort, we can trust that there is an ebb and flow to lead us to the other side. And on the other side, we will evolve and grow with more courage – because we held onto trust.

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Starting now…

Posted by Michelle Goss on June 17, 2010 · 1 Comment 

Having committed to living a life filled with joy, I am on a mission to weed out patterns inconsistent with this commitment.  Lately I’ve been seeing how procrastination is actually a pattern of joy-deprival.

When I’m putting something off, joy is the last thing on my mind.  No, I’m thinking about pain avoidance!  I’m strategizing how to get out of something, contemplating both fantastic and reasonable excuses as to why I can’t fulfill my commitment.  I decide against this strategy mainly because it would involve lying and I’m sure the ensuing guilt would cause cancer or death or worse!

So I turn to denial and try to put it out of my mind entirely.  This never works, of course, but I give it my best effort by distracting with activities I say I enjoy — activities that I actually do enjoy under other circumstances just not here because I know I’m using them to distract and avoid, thereby cheapening the enjoyment.

Sometimes I try renegotiating the deadline even as it rapidly approaches, usually 2-24 hours prior to the due date.  Naturally, this only serves to prolong my pain because I continue to procrastinate until the new deadline looms.

Ultimately, I do honor my commitment at the 11th hour, suffering greater stress, risking my reputation and self-respect. Stressful.  Painful.  Joyless.

Consider all the creativity that is siphoned off by avoidance; all of the time spent at the sufferance of this avoidance.  Creativity and time that could be directed towards joy-inducing activities and experiences.  (Including the radical JOY of completing something early!)

I’m newly inspired to change.  Rather than the usual empty promises to “start earlier next time” or “never do that again,” I feel a strengthened resolve to lovingly end this pattern, opening to greater peace and more joy!  I don’t expect perfection as I make this change.  I expect compassion, understanding, and loving discipline.

I’m starting now.

As with any change process, the first step is awareness.  Whether you relate to procrastination or not, what patterns of yours are inconsistent with a joy-filled life?

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