Just Kidding Around
Whether by divine purpose or lovely accident, I have recently returned to some activities that brought me great happiness as a wee farm girl. By riding her bike, the lovely Ms. Watkins reminded my how much I loved riding my bike. So I cannon-balled back into cycling by signing up for a Leukemia & Lymphoma Society fundraiser that included a quick 100-mile spin around Lake Tahoe on June 6th of this year. Lucky me, to find myself with that fresh mountain air in my lungs, flying down hills and pumping up the tough climbs just like I did as kid on my blue Huffy. I have a lot more gears now and no banana seat, but what a ride! It was pure, wrapped in sunshine, joy that whole day.
This week, I have been ever so fortunate to travel to Hawaii with my parents and darling sister. It has been decades since I traveled with only my family of origin. Yesterday, we cruised beaches until we found a friendly looking low-riding surf. Then we paddled out to float on our backs and ride the waves with no intention of going anywhere. We just floated. Occasionally, to add interest, we would attempt some mild form of water ballet. It was more big, fat fun for me.
To add to the kid-style delight, early this morning I swam out past the breakers with my sister to snorkel. We laid face down on our bellies and barely flapped our flippers while watching fish after remarkable fish going about their daily chores. It was more ridiculous, happy stuff.
While travel is fabulous, it wasn’t the great locations that made these last few weeks especiallysatisfying. It was reconnecting with that little, barefoot girl who liked riding her bike as fast as she could and tromping around outside with no particular agenda.
Yes, work is awaiting me at the end of this week. There is much to do out there in the world of adult responsibilities and tuition bills. I can promise you that I will make more time for wind-in-my-messy-hair moments from now on. It has been grounding and spirit-filling. It has made me as happy as a mouthful of Jolly Ranchers. So here’s to reconnecting with that thing that floated your plastic, bathtub boat back when the days were long and someone tucked you in at night. May you find it and enjoy it. It’s good stuff, all of it.
A New Recipe
Have you heard the story about the woman who makes a roast for dinner twice a month? Every time she cooks this dish, she cuts the ends of the roast off before putting it in the pan. After watching his wife do this for many years, her husband asks, “why do you cut the ends off and throw them away? ” Her response, ”my mom did it that way, so I do it that way. ” He asked, “Why did your mom do it that way?” She asked her mom that very same question and discovered that she cut the ends off because the roast did not fit in the pan that she used!
How many times do you do the same thing, because you have always done it that way – even when it is a waste of time, energy or roast?
Is it time to change your recipe? Here at the Joy Factor, we offer four delightful ingredients that will support you in not having to “cut the ends off of your roast” . Try this new recipe and see what it tastes like:
1 part Connection to Purpose – When you know what is most important to you and you line your life up with that, joy happens!
1 part Authentic Expression – My friend Laura Biering has a wonderful tag on her car, it says, B U Now. You are perfect as you are, share that with the world and your Joy Factor will increase.
1 part Self – Care – Fill your personal fountain with things that will allow you to be the best you can be for yourself and others. What can you do for your self today, that will fill your fountain and spirit?
1 part Strategic Optimism - Having a plan that supports you in choosing joy each day is a powerful structure that empowers you on days that you are less than joyful.
You get to choose how much of these ingredients to use in your recipe to live your best life. A dash of this, a pinch of that, a cup and a half of this. If you want different results, make different choices!
What will your new recipe be?
Get Real!
One of Coca-Cola’s tag lines, “It’s the real thing”, refers to the original recipe of this popular drink. As we continue to learn about new ingredients to use in your recipe to raise your Joy Factor, I invite you to explore what Authentic Expression is to you. Are you expressing yourself in a way that is in alignment with the real you?
Last week I was watching Ellen - she definitely raises my Joy Factor! One of her guests was Chely Wright. Chely is the first major country artist to come out as gay. Yes, KD Lang came out in 1992, but she had abandoned the country music genre by then. It took courage for her to express herself authentically. By sharing her story, she opens up the door for others to live their authentic life.
It is vulnerable to truly be who you are. There is a lot of external pressure to be like everyone else, or be what other people want you to be. When you live your life with a lack of authenticity, it is not a lot of fun!
You are here to live your best life. Explore what Authentic Expression is for you. Sometimes it is easier to start by looking at what Authentic Expression is not. Once you uncover that that is, you can start making little adjustments towards Authentic Expression. You will soon be living a life that expresses the real you!
I know from experience that this is easier said than done. Worrying about what other people think can get in the way of expressing myself authentically. A wise woman once told me that it is none of my business what other people think. I do my best to remember that advice each and every day.
I know that I am not Coca-Cola, yet my tag line these days is, “what you see is what you get!”
If you had a tag line that spoke to your Authentic Expression, what would it be?
Thoughts Do Create Reality!
Last week I had the opportunity to speak to 350 amazing people at the Prosperity Expo in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.
Not only did I have a chance to speak, it was my “coming out party”. This was the first time I shared my story and the Joy Factor concepts with a group–besides all of you.
It was all that I wanted it to be. I was grounded, present; sharing my story and message from my heart. I was connected with the audience. We laughed and cried and I believe I made the impact that I intended to.
My intention was 2 fold. First, was to have them walk away with at least 1 thing that they would do different in their life to increase their Joy Factor. Dozens of people talked to me through the weekend and shared the gifts they received from my presentation. Those conversations made my heart sing and confirmed why I do what I do.
My other intention was to enroll people to join me for my Connect with your Passion workshop that I will be doing in South Florida at the end of January. Guess how many people enrolled? Zero!
As much as I was disappointed that no one chose to come to the workshop, in Wendy fashion, I stepped back and took a look at what my learning was.
In the back of my mind, you know, my subconcious thoughts, I was not thrilled with having to sell from the front of the room. I knew I could do it and felt comfortable sharing the opportunity, yet it really was not me. Yes, I now see that I could have offered a different price and different bonuses that could have been more compelling. What is really clear to me is that our thoughts truly do create our reality.
I invite you take a look at the thoughts that are hanging out in the back of your mind. Notice if they are in alignment with you, your authentic self. If so, think on. If not, shift the thought so you can create more of what you want in your life.
By the way, I am still planning on teaching the workshop in FL. I will now look at sharing it from the Wendy Way, which includes shifting my beliefs and receiving all the best.
Here is to you receiving all the best from your concious, joyous thoughts.
Funky or Dressy?
There are times when we think our connection to our purpose has to look or feel a certain way Some days I feel like it has to look very dressy; buttoned-up and prim and proper. Those days feel like they are going less with the flow; days that I feel like I have to make things happen. I am working on my projects and with my clients and it feels like work. The “shoulds” show up and I may do things that I really do not want to do, but feel like I should. No fun, less joy!
Other days, I feel like my connection to my purpose of supporting others in being the best they can be looks more funky and eclectic. Those days, I feel more creative, more juicy, as author Sark would say. Things seem to flow more. Those are the days that my Joy Factor is way up there and amazing things happen.
What is different about those days than the buttoned-up days? Those are the days that I let go of wondering about what other people think. That is one of my personal challenges; I let that get in the way of staying connected to my purpose and my authentic self. On this journey of increasing my Joy Factor, I like wearing my funky clothes and allowing magic to happen, in connection to my purpose. You?
Shopping for Joy!
If joy was one of the things that you could get for free at the supermarket, would you make a special trip for it? When you run out of milk, you go and get more, right? What happens when you run out of joy? We all know the signs; the container feels empty and needs to be filled up. It is then that you have a choice: what do I fill it up with? Do I go for something outside of myself (my faves tend to be anything at Target) that will always bring me joy – for a moment anyway. But really, how long can new mascara or a new pair of shoes bring joy? That is called instant gratification. It will last for a bit, and then the craving for more comes along. The best deal on joy in town is found right inside of you.
Authenticity it is the ability to be yourself and do what you know is right for you to do. It is an authentic expression that raises you to that feeling of happiness. You know the way you feel when you say yes to doing something delightful for yourself, compared to when you say no to something that everyone else wants from you, but you really do not want it. It can be as simple as “no, i really do not want Mexican food tonight, I just want a salad.” It may seem like a simple act to honor yourself. Or even more likely, you find yourself saying: “Oh, it is not a big deal, we can have Mexican food.” Over time, Mexican food gets old and so does that lack of joy feeling.
It is the little things that we do in our life that allows us to feel joy, saying yes to a salad, honoring our desires. When real desires are continually stuffed, so is the joy. Let the joy flow, like the best chocolate milk in town. You can find that here at Aunt Wendy’s house.
What does authentic expression look like, feel like, or sound like for you these days?
Beginning of the Joy Factor Experience
What is it about joy that people want in their lives? Is it a feeling, is it a “something,” a craving? Is it the opposite of feeling sadness or fear? Is it wanting something that you think you can’t have, like straight hair instead of curly, or blue eyes instead of green ones?. I know that joy is something that I wanted all of my life, and still do! There are times that I do find joy in a delicious piece of dark, rich chocolate, but when the chocolate is gone, the joy is gone. If someone could create a chocolate bar that had sustainable, joyful feelings as one of its benefits …hmmmm …it could be the Mounds of Joy Bar, the feeling lasts long after you’re picking the coconut out of your teeth. I would buy it by the case, wouldn’t you?
Over the last 3ish years, I have been on an intentional joy journey. I now realize that I have actually been on it my whole life; I just thought I was out for a good time. And boy, did I have them – lots of them – with friends, family, strangers, clients, employers – you name it. It is about a good time. But some of the main factors of joy for me, pre-January 2006, were filled with lots of things that I found outside of myself. The list was long and I am sure that a few of my items are on your list as well; some of them still are. They are the classic examples of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Those were the early years that lasted until I was in my early 30s. It is all perspective isn’t it?
I then started getting a taste of the finer things in life: nice clothes, shoes, good food, shoes, travel to fun places; did I mention shoes? More things that I thought would bring me joy from the outside in. The funny thing was that I was also a personal development junkie, reading all of the greats: Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Shatki Gawain, etc. I got to see them in person, meet them and tell lots of other people what they could do to live a better life. The challenge was that I was really not walking my talk. The more that I thought I was, the more I was attached to certain things and to being controlling.
I am sure that nobody has any idea what I am talking about here. Wake up everyone, let’s get on the joy journey! What I am trying to express here is that joy is one of those things that lives inside of us, like our heart, kidney, liver and lungs. Breathe in the joy and then breathe it out. As we do our best to take care of these things in our body, it is a good thing to work on taking care of what we can do to raise our joy factor. Imagine a life filled with increased joy, being yourself, expressing yourself authentically and feeling awesome doing it! Being clear on the direction you are going in (for now), having tools to support you in being a strategic optimist – yes, there is a strategy here – don’t you love a good plan? And how about some more self-love in this yummy recipe?
If you are anything like me, and I believe that you are, then you are probably starting to wonder, “Hmmm. . .how do I get some more of this joy thing in my life? Where do I sign up?” Of course. You are in the right place at the right time. Like attracts like, you know.
What is one thing that would bring you joy today? My dog Abbey Road just crawled up on the couch with me—I love when she sticks her nose under my hand and says –“pet me mommy!” The simplicity of giving her a few minutes of my time brings her lots of joy.
What would you like to spend a few minutes doing today that would bring you joy? Is it in the garden, with your journal, kids, or on the phone with a girlfriend that you have not connected with for awhile? Start small … stop long enough to ask yourself if you plan to raise your joy factor and be a part of this joy movement, what is the next right thing to do?
I am going to take a nap.
The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor and create a life you are madly in love with. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. Visit often to read what the Joy Posse has to say, watch uplifting videos and gather other delightful resources that will make you smile. This is also a place to share what raises your Joy Factor - do tell! Let’s have the ripple effect of joy change the world!
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Bernadette Peters (3)
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Deb Cooperman (3)Derek Nowatzki (3)
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Tamara McElhannon (3)Tracey Lynne (2)
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Wendy Watkins (50)