A Year of Living Generously
I have a confession. I feel happy to shut the door on 2010. I am eager to move on from this year. It was twelve months of rough and tumble stuff. After a challenging twelve months, asking for an upgraded experience next year feels a little like stepping up to a Craps table in Vegas… C’mon, 2011!
I was thinking about this and I realized that I turn 50 next year. I had to ask my (mildly?) vain self how I could tackle 50 and stay away from the grumpiness and angst that sometimes accompanies a milestone birthday. How can I make next year a truly great year? So I came up with a plan. Happiness studies show that people who give back are much more content than those who don’t. I am a pretty helpful sort, but there has never been any real structure around it. So here’s my pledge: In the year 2011 I will do 50 things to help someone else. At my advanced age, that averages out to almost one good deed a week, but I am up for the challenge. It might be as simple as buying the guy behind me in line at Starbucks a cup of coffee. It might be an all-day park clean up. I don’t know exactly how this will take shape. It’s exciting and I feel a little peppy just thinking about it. I will report my progress on this fabulous blog. Being very intentional with this year long adventure may prove to be quite fun. I invite any and all to join me on this journey.
It feels like less of gamble already.
He was that guy.
This was the guy that volunteered to help families in Africa, taught autistic children, cheerfully did dishes and stirred the soup when he was over for dinner. He was naturally polite, kind and funny. I used to joke that he was so wonderful that when he smiled we had to protect our eyes from the sparkling reflection. We knew something fun was going to happen when he bounded through the door. He organized the night that a bunch of kids, including my daughter, slept in a car piled on top of each other like puppies waiting for the annual REI sale to begin. They stocked up on the gear they needed to go out there and experience nature at its finest.
Once, when she was describing him to me my daughter said, “Mom, he was “that” guy for me.” He was the guy who showed her what it was like to be in a truly safe relationship. He held her hand gently, opened her car door, brushed the hair from her eyes and looked at her with such kindness and respect that I will always be grateful to him as a mother. He set the bar high.
In April, he passed away in a rock climbing accident. It is months later and we are still trying to make sense of it. He had a beautiful relationship with God and this comforts us all.
He embraced life with a ridiculous amount of enthusiasm and joy. The life he lived reminds me to be present and enjoy the simple stuff. I appreciate the opportunity to laugh loud, sing badly and contemplate the clouds in the sky. My daughter, who is slowly healing, feels the same way. She has made changes in her life so that she is really doing what she loves most and not wasting a single second. She has said that she wants to live her life in a way that will make him proud. Once again, I am grateful.
Thank you, Josh. We miss you very much.
Camp Dad
Four summers ago I was going through a rather difficult period. A long-term business partnership, with a dear friend of mine, was headed to lawyers’ offices and eventually court. It was expensive, it was frustrating, and it wasn’t going away any time soon.
My office is 1.5 miles from my home, and I often come home for lunch just to break up the day. After the second week of summer vacation I saw a familiar trend, my boys were lying on the couch watching Sponge Bob. The only variation seemed to be the angles to which the boys were lying. I admit, although Sponge Bob is clever, I’m not a fan.
“These boys need to go to camp,” I told my wife while I was gobbling down lunch. She said, “What camp?” “Camp Dad,” I replied. And right then and there, over a turkey sandwich, the idea of Camp Dad was born. With some serious coaching from Coach Wendy (the proprietor of this website), Camp Dad was launched.
Camp Dad is an 8-week odyssey that includes mental, spiritual and physical activities. Monday through Saturday each one of us (just boys) has to exercise at least 15 minutes, eat fruits and vegetables, get adequate rest and do some type of strength conditioning. In addition, we have to read, journal our creativity and practice good thoughts (Mom is the judge). And then of course we have Mom’s favorite, practice good hygiene.
This year marks the 5th Anniversary of Camp Dad, and I have to admit it is one of our highlights of summer. What I’ve discovered about myself (through Wendy’s help), is that I have a tendency of putting others needs before mine. But to have our goals intertwined, I have to give so that the boys receive their just rewards. See, if we all do our 8 activities for 6 days, then Sunday becomes Fun day. Fun day may include mini golf, water parks, amusement parks, etc. And it surely makes the root beer taste sweeter!
Hello Oprah, It’s Me, Wendy!

This past weekend, I was one of 2100+ people who auditioned for a show on the upcoming Oprah Winfrey Network. It was a very cool experience.
The adventure began at 4:30 AM on Saturday when Brett and Ty picked me up to head to the audition. There were already 876 people in line when we arrived. I know that because the wristbands we received were numbers 876-878. We were told to be back for our time slot at 11. Off we went to grab something to eat and practice our pitch. Our spirits were high! The energy around us was amazing!
We came back and shared our visions, passions and dreams in a 30 second pitch under a tent with 13 other people. Wow—there are some fascinating people out there with amazing gifts to share. I was thrilled to be a part of it all.
When it was all said and done, I did not get a call back for the second day of auditions. Yes, I was disappointed, okay a bit devastated on Sunday.
As I reflect on the experience now, I realize that I may not have received a call, but I did receive these gifts:
1. Amazing acknowledgment and support from my friends and family. Thank you for reminding me that I am not sitting around waiting for my life to happen—I am going for the gold ring!
2. Knowing that inspired action is my favorite type of action. I came home from vacation a day early and woke up at 3:30 in the morning to pursue something that makes my heart sing. This gift will keep on giving for a while—I am proud of myself!
3. Last but not least – Even though I was disappointed that I did not receive the call back, I am reminded that there are no failures, only opportunities to learn and grow. I will continue to take risks that are in alignment with my passions and authentic expression. This is why I am here!
I offer these gifts to you my friends, open them when you need them and share them with the world.
If Oprah happens to call you, tell her I said hello!
Hello Oprah, It's Me, Wendy!

This past weekend, I was one of 2100+ people who auditioned for a show on the upcoming Oprah Winfrey Network. It was a very cool experience.
The adventure began at 4:30 AM on Saturday when Brett and Ty picked me up to head to the audition. There were already 876 people in line when we arrived. I know that because the wristbands we received were numbers 876-878. We were told to be back for our time slot at 11. Off we went to grab something to eat and practice our pitch. Our spirits were high! The energy around us was amazing!
We came back and shared our visions, passions and dreams in a 30 second pitch under a tent with 13 other people. Wow—there are some fascinating people out there with amazing gifts to share. I was thrilled to be a part of it all.
When it was all said and done, I did not get a call back for the second day of auditions. Yes, I was disappointed, okay a bit devastated on Sunday.
As I reflect on the experience now, I realize that I may not have received a call, but I did receive these gifts:
1. Amazing acknowledgment and support from my friends and family. Thank you for reminding me that I am not sitting around waiting for my life to happen—I am going for the gold ring!
2. Knowing that inspired action is my favorite type of action. I came home from vacation a day early and woke up at 3:30 in the morning to pursue something that makes my heart sing. This gift will keep on giving for a while—I am proud of myself!
3. Last but not least – Even though I was disappointed that I did not receive the call back, I am reminded that there are no failures, only opportunities to learn and grow. I will continue to take risks that are in alignment with my passions and authentic expression. This is why I am here!
I offer these gifts to you my friends, open them when you need them and share them with the world.
If Oprah happens to call you, tell her I said hello!
bubblicious – spreading the yum one bubble at a time
Ten years ago I went to a wedding where they gave out little bottles of soap bubbles in place of rice or birdseed. When the bride and groom arrived at the reception, we greeted them outside in a shower of bubbles. It was delightful.
I became rather attached to my party favor, and so blew bubbles out the window of my car on the way home when I was stopped at a red light. I did it kind of absently … I just blew and watched as bubbles floated on the breeze. I followed one sparkly bubble over the roof of the car next to me and caught the eye of the man inside. He was grinning from ear to ear … laughing as bubbles swirled around his car.
It was so much fun that I did it the next day. And again and again. I began looking forward to the back-up I’d usually encounter at the tolls I went through en-route to work (back in the olden days before ez-pass, etc.). I loved how people responded to the bubbles. Kids waved. A guy on a Harley honked. Teenaged girls in a Beetle cheered and waved. A man pulled up beside me and called out: “Will you marry me?” (how I responded is another story entirely … perhaps I’ll tell that another time, joy factor peeps …)
One day I arrived at the toll booth and the woman inside waved me on … “He paid for you,” she said, indicating the car that sped on ahead of me. “He said thanks.”
Fast forward 10 years, and I’m still blowing bubbles out my car’s window. I’ve seen cranky faces stuck in 5 mile back-ups turn to smiles; I’ve watched notoriously merge-adverse New York and New Jersey drivers open up and give way with ease; and now I even keep small bottles of bubbles in my car to pass out to the happiest responders when I’m in particularly slow traffic.
Blowing bubbles out of the window of my car has an almost (forgive the pun) effervescent effect on the world. And what an easy and delightful way to make a difference … spreading a little fun and adding my bit to the cosmic joy-factor.
Give it a try; I highly recommend it.
Tortilla Toss
I am just back from a quick weekend jaunt to the mountains. I spent a couple of days with my clients and friends, Cindy and Carmen, at my favorite cabin in Bryson City. We did some of my favorite things; eating, hiking and having rich, delicious conversations about our life and businesses. It was a delightful adventure. Each of us tried something new on this trip. Whether it was something new to eat, looking at a new way of doing business, or a new way to share information, we all explored possibilities in a safe, nurturing environment. My “something new” is playing with my new cute, pink video camera. My intention is to start sharing Joy Bites with the world in the form of video. It is now featured on YouTube. Go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4olZWLr17RY
It feels good to have this “something new” to play with. As I was loading them onto the computer last night, I realized that I was going to have to release my fear of “what people would think” and embrace trusting that my message would resonate with the people it is supposed to. I am now embracing trust as easily as I would a dear friend.
Before we left the mountain house yesterday, we were loading up the fridge and a bag of tortillas busted open and fell on the floor. We decided to toss them off of the deck so the birds and animals could have a snack. I couldn’t resist posing the question, “what are you tossing away–what does the tortilla represent that you want to leave behind?” Mine was fear. If you were tossing a tortilla off of the deck, what would you be tossing away today?




