The Tide Goes In and The Tide Goes Out….
It is amazing how a walk on the beach can teach us so much. Enjoy!
Healing Happens
The first time I saw the “s**t happens” bumper sticker was twenty-some-odd years ago, on the back of a nearly-new, shiny, wrecked Camaro. The law of attraction in action.
I broke my wrist, two weeks after moving home, office and studio. At first it seemed like bad luck. It had been a hard move. I was dog-tired, running on empty. I had no choice but to rest. With long hours of sleep and naps in between, I began to feel a bit blessed, and for the first time in months, mentally refreshed.
The list of things I could not do sometimes felt endless. Tying the sash on my bathrobe took six, seven, eight or more tries. Cutting meat was not possible. Nor fastening my seatbelt (much less a bra.) But the things that were possible—if I could only figure out how—became adventurous and amusing. The left brain would say, “this can’t be done.” The right brain would counter, “How can I pull this off?” The night I opened a bottle of wine I was triumphant. It had taken 20 minutes.
Friends and family rallied. They brought food that could be opened, prepared and eaten with one hand. They helped me dress, wrote checks, and drove when I would feel too untethered without a seatbelt. They schlepped boxes, unpacked, and made my bed (putting on a fitted sheet with one hand could be an Olympic event,) put barrettes in my hair, and hung artwork. It’s hard to be grumpy or bitter when your heart is full of gratitude.
Healing happens. One day, the pinkie finger could push the “P” and “enter” keys. Soon after I could zip and snap the waistband of my trousers. Bending my palm back enough to hold a dollop of shampoo, then massaging it into my scalp, was glorious beyond words. Pulling the gearshift in my car from park to drive made me squirm with delight. Ten days later, I could push from drive to park. To pick up and put a carrot in my mouth? Oh, my. Finally I could not only hold, but use, a fork. And being able to write! To doodle! To journal. To sign my name IN CURSIVE. I was giddy with pride and relief.
Joy can come in a package so small that we overlook it, but rarely have I known joy any greater than being able to wash my hair and sign my name. Rebecca L. Ewing
Carpe diem
Affirmations with Jessica
The other day a friend of mine sent me a link to the best affirmation video I have seen. It has all of the components for manifesting what you want, which is the reason we use affirmations. Jessica, who is doing the affirmations, is looking in the mirror – the best place to affirm what you want for your life. The point of using affirmations is to state what you desire in a positive frame, such as, “my prosperity is growing.” This opens the door for prosperity to arrive.
Jessica states everything that she loves. Being in a place of gratitude is the best fertilizer for affirmations. She completes her high energy, joyful process in a minute or so and off she goes on her day.
Saying affirmations is just one piece of the puzzle. The secret to having your affirmations come true quickly is to make sure the atmosphere in which they are placed is fertile. Affirmations are very similar to seeds you plant. If you plant your seeds in bad soil, they will not grow very well. If you put them in good soil, they will be abundant. The more you choose thoughts that raise your Joy Factor, the quicker the affirmations will work.
Louise L. Hay, who is the grandmother of affirmations, says, “It takes some time to go from a seed to a full-grown plant. And so it is with affirmations – it takes some time from the first declaration to the final demonstration. Be patient!”
You do not have to wait any longer to see Jessica’s affirmation - watch and learn from a master.
Plan for Positivity!
I love food! When I am not eating, I am thinking about eating. If I did not exercise, I could easily weigh twice the amount I do now. Eating brings me joy. I am a lucky girl - my husband Matt does most of the cooking for us. We are a perfect match, because cooking brings him joy. When I do cook something, I use a recipe so I am assured to get the results I am looking for.
Strategic Optimism is the next ingredient to raise your Joy Factor. It is a strategy; a plan that will make sure that if you want to be optimistic, you will be. Being optimistic is easier said than done. With all of the negativity out there, you have to be confident in your belief that things will turn out well. Are you seeing the world through rose colored glasses or really dark sunglasses?
It begins with choosing to be optimistic. Each day you wake up with a clean slate. You determine what kind of day you are going to have. Life will give you rotten tomatoes at times, yet when you have a plan for your optimism, you have something to fall back on.
Kahlil Gibran says, “Your living is determined not so much by what life brings to you as by the attitude you bring to life; not so much by what happens to you as by the way your mind looks at what happens to you.”
Choosing joy is a practice. The first time you make a soufflé, it may fall. The second time it will get a little easier. As you continue to practice being optimistic, it will get easier and you will start to reap the benefits of putting your attention on something positive. Which is more appealing to you, thinking about the best thing that can happen or the worst thing that can happen? Try both ways and see which leaves a better taste in your mouth. You can then decide which you want seconds of. Let the tasting begin……
One Size Fits All
That label has always given me a rise. How can that be true? I can see if it said, one size fits most or one size fits some. The only place that I see where one size fits all is around choosing to be joyful. Read more
Cleaning Out the Fridge
On this first day of October, I am amazed how time is moving by with grace and ease these days. Each day is full of so many delicious things. Some days I am able to get everything done and others there are “leftovers” for me to enjoy from earlier in the week. A few targets that I have set for myself have slipped by, including writing a weekly blog entry this past month. Yet, just as the air is different this morning, cooler and crisper, I am treating myself different. I am cooler. I feel more peace and trust, truly knowing that everything is happening the way it is supposed to. As I continue to do my best everyday, which to me means to consistently check in with myself and make sure what I am doing feels good. If I am not in a place of expansion, of feeling good, feeling alive, then that is not the time to move forward on a particular activity.
Over the last couple of weeks, my plate has been very full with so many delicious items. There have been lots of leftovers. As I was ”cleaning out the fridge” and some of the items were on the edge of stinky,they needed to be completed. I was at the breaking point so to say, that edge where I knew that if I did not shift my energy, this was not going to be fun anymore. There was one part of my that just wanted to plow through and get it done. I knew that if I did that, when Matt came home from work , he would not love the woman he was coming home to and I would not love the woman I was. I took a breath, changed my clothes and went for a bike ride. All it took was an hour of doing something that fed my spirit, to shift my mood and allow me to finish what needed to be done later that evening.
I love when I remember to honor myself; my soul’s calling to be me and conciously choose the life I love.
Anyone want to come over for leftovers?
If You Could Choose Anything, What Would it Be?
Last week I asked Julian how he was doing, and he said “Great!’ I said, “What makes you great?” and he said, “Because I choose to be!” What a concept! Today I will be joyful, happy, in a good mood . . . however you want to say it.
Think about how much time you spend getting ready to go to work, or plan a vacation. Do you take nearly as much time to consciously choose joy? Simple, yes. Always easy? Depends. It is like starting to work out at the gym, flexing new muscles. You are starting to flex your ability to choose joy. It feels awkward at first, yet the more that you do it, the easier it will be. Now I am not saying that you can move from depression to joy just because you choose to. However, I am saying that you can always choose to feel a bit better that you did a minute ago.
Abraham talks about the “emotional guidance system” we all have and shows us how we can use our thoughts to consciously move us up the scale, noticing where we are putting our attention. Put your attention on where you want to be, not where you are. That is where we keep getting more of what we already have!
When you have some clarity around where you are going and consciously choose joy, you are on a special journey. This is when all of the lights are green and the parking spot right in front opens up for you. I love when my parking goddess is with me, which is always—ask my friends—they will tell you. Why? Because I expect it! What are you expecting? What are you choosing? Be conscious, be joyful, be fabulous. You are!
Joy Arrives When We Expect It!
What is it about joy that everyone wants? There is something about the feeling it gives. When we experience joy and happiness, well, that is when hope is prevalent. When we can connect with what we want in our lives, possibility becomes present. When possibility is present, it is easier for us to put our time and attention on the things that are important to us, the things that we feel hopeful about. It may be something as large as the turn-around of our economy or the hope that our next family gathering will happen with ease and grace. When the combination of joy and possibility are there, magic happens. That is when we feel joyful. It feels magical because even when things do not go the way that we may want them to, when we are in a place of joy, that is okay.
My client Jennifer was recently stuck in traffic. She had a choice of how she was going to react. Yes, she was going to be late to pick up her kids, but there was still a choice. Because Jennifer’s foundation is one of joy and part of her natural state, it was easy for her to choose to be productive with this time, rather than waste it away with road rage. In the 90-minutes that she sat in traffic, she reconnected with her desire to write a book and came up with her idea and plan. She has now integrated writing into her life and is enjoying every minute of it.
What was present for Jennifer to capture the moment and use it to her advantage? She chose joy, tapped into what made her feel good about her dreams and passions and let herself imagine the possibilities. Hope was present and that helped to build the momentum that was needed for her to connect with the next right thing to do. She found the “right radio station” and turned up the volume. It is amazing what can happen in the car! Think of Jennifer the next time you are in traffic, in a situation where you seemingly have no control. Create your control, claim your happiness and create a life that you love!
Beginning of the Joy Factor Experience
What is it about joy that people want in their lives? Is it a feeling, is it a “something,” a craving? Is it the opposite of feeling sadness or fear? Is it wanting something that you think you can’t have, like straight hair instead of curly, or blue eyes instead of green ones?. I know that joy is something that I wanted all of my life, and still do! There are times that I do find joy in a delicious piece of dark, rich chocolate, but when the chocolate is gone, the joy is gone. If someone could create a chocolate bar that had sustainable, joyful feelings as one of its benefits …hmmmm …it could be the Mounds of Joy Bar, the feeling lasts long after you’re picking the coconut out of your teeth. I would buy it by the case, wouldn’t you?
Over the last 3ish years, I have been on an intentional joy journey. I now realize that I have actually been on it my whole life; I just thought I was out for a good time. And boy, did I have them – lots of them – with friends, family, strangers, clients, employers – you name it. It is about a good time. But some of the main factors of joy for me, pre-January 2006, were filled with lots of things that I found outside of myself. The list was long and I am sure that a few of my items are on your list as well; some of them still are. They are the classic examples of sex, drugs and rock and roll. Those were the early years that lasted until I was in my early 30s. It is all perspective isn’t it?
I then started getting a taste of the finer things in life: nice clothes, shoes, good food, shoes, travel to fun places; did I mention shoes? More things that I thought would bring me joy from the outside in. The funny thing was that I was also a personal development junkie, reading all of the greats: Wayne Dyer, Louise Hay, Shatki Gawain, etc. I got to see them in person, meet them and tell lots of other people what they could do to live a better life. The challenge was that I was really not walking my talk. The more that I thought I was, the more I was attached to certain things and to being controlling.
I am sure that nobody has any idea what I am talking about here. Wake up everyone, let’s get on the joy journey! What I am trying to express here is that joy is one of those things that lives inside of us, like our heart, kidney, liver and lungs. Breathe in the joy and then breathe it out. As we do our best to take care of these things in our body, it is a good thing to work on taking care of what we can do to raise our joy factor. Imagine a life filled with increased joy, being yourself, expressing yourself authentically and feeling awesome doing it! Being clear on the direction you are going in (for now), having tools to support you in being a strategic optimist – yes, there is a strategy here – don’t you love a good plan? And how about some more self-love in this yummy recipe?
If you are anything like me, and I believe that you are, then you are probably starting to wonder, “Hmmm. . .how do I get some more of this joy thing in my life? Where do I sign up?” Of course. You are in the right place at the right time. Like attracts like, you know.
What is one thing that would bring you joy today? My dog Abbey Road just crawled up on the couch with me—I love when she sticks her nose under my hand and says –“pet me mommy!” The simplicity of giving her a few minutes of my time brings her lots of joy.
What would you like to spend a few minutes doing today that would bring you joy? Is it in the garden, with your journal, kids, or on the phone with a girlfriend that you have not connected with for awhile? Start small … stop long enough to ask yourself if you plan to raise your joy factor and be a part of this joy movement, what is the next right thing to do?
I am going to take a nap.
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The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. The intention of this site is to offer you juicy nuggets that will increase your experience of joy and delight. Take a look around, grab something yummy and share the joy.
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