The Monday Morning Gift
I am so grateful for Monday mornings. Each week at 8 AM, I talk with my MasterMind Mamas. We have been meeting consistently for the last year. That means for the last 52 weeks, I receive a gift almost every time we talk. These ladies hold me to my highest best, so sometimes the gift may not be wrapped in the package that I wanted or thought it would be in.
Our primary focus is around growing our business. Well as you and I know, growing as a person is part of growing a business. As I was sharing my wins and my intentions for the week, as well as some of my frustrations about areas I was not moving as easily as I would like to be, I was asked what I was doing to take care of myself? That inquiry had me pause for a minute-the sign of a powerful question! I thought, hmmmm… I am exercising my body consistently. My first century bicycle ride is right around the corner. I am eating pretty well-frozen yogurt is healthy, right? I am doing my best in noticing my feelings and honoring them. So the physical, and emotional areas are in check. After reflecting, the 2 pieces that were a bit off, were the mental and spritiual. I realized that I had not been taking time to connect with spirit daily, which is one of my top 5 passions. I also realized that all summer I have been reading wonderul fiction novels. I intentionally do this as part of my summer ritual. Intuitively, I knew it was time to weave back in some personal and professional development books.
The first step in creating change is noticing and notice I did. Now it was time to enhance my journey with the gifts I received. It was easy to amp up the self care in those areas now–more walks with the doggies bring me closer to spirt and I am thoroughly enjoying Delivering Happiness by Tony Hsiegh, the Zappos dude.
The best gift is a shared gift and I love presents! I would love to hear more ways to enhance my self-care…anyone have another gift they would like to give me?
Taking My Foot off the Gas Pedal
Slow down, you move too fast.
You got to make the morning last.
Just kicking down the cobble stones.
Looking for fun and feelin’ groovy.
The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feeling Groovy) by Simon and Garfunkel
When I am driving somewhere that I have never been before, I have to admit, I can get anal about having to have directions to get there. Matt is the opposite, he is okay with having some kind of directions, trusting that we will eventually arrive at our destination.
This can be frustrated when you hold a belief that life is about the journey, not the destination. If that is so, then why are directions so darn important to me? It could be because I am such a visionary that without direction, I lose focus and travel round and round without making headway. Would it be so bad if I made a few “wrong turns” on my way to the next thing that I am creating in my life? It depends on the perspective that I choose.
If I end up going in a direction that is different than I anticipated, and I decide that it is an adventure, then the journey is enjoyable and I am open to possibilities. If I deem that turn to be wrong and I beat myself up about it, the first steps to choosing a less than joyful perspective have started and it is all downhill from there.
Enjoying the journey is a matter of noticing the perspectives that we get to choose each and every day. One of my life lessons is to slow down, so I can make the conscious choices that bring joy. When I am moving to fast, it is easy to make unconscious choices and wonder where the joy went.
Try taking your foot off of the gas today and choose the perspective that you want to see the world from. Enjoy the view and the journey.
A Moment of Grace
Between the ages of 14 – 48, I was a sucker for diets. Macrobiotics – Overeaters Anonymous – Grapefruit Diet- Cabbage Soup Diet – Zone Diet – French Women Don’t Diet Diet. The list goes on. (BTW, there’s a web site that catalogues diets including, and I’m not making this up, the “What Would Jesus Eat Diet”!)
I’m not dissing these diets (except for that Grapefruit one); some are wonderful options, for a sane person. But I’ve spent many years overtly/covertly hating my body, using diets and the scale as assault weapons. And I know better! I’m a life coach for crying out loud.
I’m also a woman raised in a culture that worships “looking good”, defined by PhotoShopped perfection. I’ve been susceptible to the lie that the right number on the scale would make me feel good and be ok in the world. Ridiculous, right? One word: Brainwashing. Another word: Insanity.
Serenity Now!
In 2009, a life-changing moment broke me apart and put me back together. For years I’d been seeking greater spiritual intimacy, yet unconsciously wedging the disapproval of my body between me and the Divine. One day, in a prayer, I saw myself through the eyes of the Divine. It was heartbreaking.
Imagine, someone you dearly love (a child, spouse, close friend) refusing your love until they think they are perfect which, by the way, is never. You don’t love them any less for it, but you see how unnecessary it is.
So there it was. All those years harboring an unconscious belief that if I just lost 20 pounds…. (or 5 pounds, 2 pounds, 10 pounds…the number didn’t matter because there was always more to lose) …THEN I would feel closer to God (meaning, “then I would be lovable”). Well, the gig was up: Skip “lovable”, I was already LOVED. Even in my manic attempt to “improve”, I was already loved.
This wasn’t just a platitude or an intellectual concept to me (“There, there, God loves you no matter what.”) This was a soul-awakening, spirit-enlivening ecstatic truth. I saw through my veils of perfectionism/self-hatred and just like that, in a moment of grace, let it go.
To Be Continued….
next month: The Joy “Diet”!
Another Life Lesson from Wasabi
I have a name for most everything including my car and bicycle. My car’s name is Viv, after my grandmother and my bicycle’s name is Wasabi because of its color, my love for sushi and how much I love saying the word. These days I am spending a good amount of time on Wasabi as I train for my first Century in September. It’s amazing how many miles you need to put on when you are training to ride 100 miles in 1 day.
On Thursday mornings I ride with my friend Jen to Stone Mountain. A few weeks back we took a ride and I forgot to put air in my tires. I knew I should have made sure they had enough pressure in them, but I wanted to be at her place on time, so I did not pump them up. Off we went and after about 3 miles, I hit a bump and phew….flat tire. We both looked at each other and laughed at our lack of experience in changing tires. A fellow rider did stop and share his tools with us. Jen changed the rear tire like a pro and off we went.
I cannot help myself in finding lessons in all of my life experiences. Here are the two that came clear to me that day.
First, it was a reminder to listen to our old friend, Intuition. What I have learned is that the more I listen to her, the more she is there to support me-saving me time and energy.
Second, it felt a little like the way I can get with my self-care. I put it aside, because I do not feel like I have time, or I have to do something for someone else and then I get a “flat tire.”
Self care is the air in our tires that allows us to have a smooth ride. It is what gives us the ability to be there for ourselves and for the people that are important to us. Full tires allows for a smoother ride all around.
What will you do today to fill up your tires and enjoy a smooth ride?
Jumping for Joy!
Every morning, when I let my dog Eli out in the yard, he jumps for joy, literally. He flies through the air, with a big smile on his face. He seems to be greeting each day with much glee and enthusiasm. He then pokes around, does his business and relaxes in the yard until I bring him in or a squirrel riles him up. His morning ritual got me thinking about the power of starting each day by “jumping for joy”.
I know some people feel more like Joanne Sherman, published children author, about mornings. She says, “I have a carpe diem mug and truthfully, at 6 in the morning, the words do not make me want to sieze the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet.” I get it, mornings are not for everyone.
I know that when I take time in the morning, give myself space and choose to have a good day, then the day seems to roll along a bit smoother. Monica Baldwin, a British nun’s perspective on morning speaks to this. ”The moment when you wake up in the morning is the most wonderful of the 24 hours. No matter how weary or dreary you feel, you posess the certainty that, during the day that lies before you, absolutely anything may happen. And the fact that it practically always doesn’t, matters not a jot. The possibility is always there.”
The 80/20 rule states that the first 20% of any experience sets the tone for the next 80%. If that is so, then why do we sometimes choose to rush through our morning and choose stress over joy? I know how tempting the snooze can be and I also know how rewarding those extra ten minutes are when I stumble out to sit on the sofa with my yummy cup of coffee and visualize what the day has in store for me. This type of morning self -care is what can raise your Joy Factor and have you jumping for joy.
If you want, you can come over and jump through the yard with Eli!
Prevent Inner Killjoy – Take a Spiritual Shower
See if this sounds familiar: Life is coasting along like a souped-up tricycle when out of nowhere… CRASH! You’re knocked over by a nasty twist of fate – a little monster I call, the “inner killjoy”. The inner killjoy is your own personal party pooper either you unwittingly create or pick up elsewhere like a germ. Violently, the inner killjoy drags you through unhappy chaos. It tends to happen in threes, if you haven’t noticed. Before you know it, you’re angry, frantic or worse, you’ve taken it out on someone dear.
One Monday, I met up with my inner killjoy after a prolonged, appreciated absence. Round two with this insipid force and my immediate thought was, “Can I not catch a break?” My next thought was, “These things happen in threes! There’s one more coming!” That last thought ushered in an escalation.
Joy disappeared along with sanity. I just wanted my joy back!
copyright Casa Dresden Photography
Two things I learned about its wrath. #1: Flailing about won’t rescue me and; #2: Most times, neither will my conscious mind. There is however, a power from within that can; a formula for keeping my joy. The formula and the prevention are the same: dedicated quiet time.
Most start their day off with a shower followed by the morning news, a little breakfast and a mad dash off to work. For me, it’s meditation first. Meditation or quiet time all accomplish the same purpose. They insert a sanity buffer between getting up and getting out the door. It preps the mind with a spiritual shower. As I heard someone say, we take a shower to wash off street muck from our bodies, so why wouldn’t we cleanse our minds as well?
Taking a daily spiritual shower makes energy ripe for a higher frequency. Even five minutes of dedicated stillness puts my thoughts in “time out” and gives me the ability to rest in that sweet spot where energy expands. Over time, it offers indescribable peace and connection. It allows for all that is. And the best part: I get to keep my joy.
The Fountain of Youth
Many of us, myself included, will find ourselves stuck in the same routines or life situations. We often repeat behaviors that don’t serve us and lead to premature aging of mind, body and spirit. In doing so, we zap our joy and stifle our personal evolution.
It can be quite the challenge to recognize these behaviors in ourselves. Once identified we must make the commitment to do whatever it takes in order to break the neurological patterns that are hardwired in our nervous systems. To stay youthful we must approach change with a creative mindset and rejoice in the opportunities before us.
Legend has it that the Fountain of Youth was a spring sought after by Ponce de Leon. According to this legend, anyone who drank from this spring would have his or her physical youth restored. We all know that such a spring doesn’t exist on this planet. However, there is a spring that we can bath ourselves in daily to help us defy “age”. It is within us and around us.
There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age. ~Sophia Loren
According to imdb.com, Sophia Loren has been in 94 movies over a course of 60 years and has received 50 awards. Her life and life’s work is a testament to this philosophy.
When I was growing up, if I told my Mom that I was bored, she would either make me learn something or tell me to go help someone. I guess this has carried on through to my adult life. I know, for me personally, I feel the most joy and the most connected to source when I am learning something new or find myself in a position where I can help someone.
Next time you feel that your joy has escaped you, I urge you to find your fountain of youth. Use that moment and your talents creatively to expand your knowledge or your connection to the world around you.
Playing with Infinite Possiblities
(Sometimes I write the word ‘god’ when I am thinking the word ‘good’. It happens most often when I am writing ‘Good Morning’ (‘God Morning’) to my Clients. It happened when I was writing this blog.. )
I have friends who are having a hard time right now. There are many reasons to have a hard time…money and the lack of it…loss of a preferred lifestyle…fear of the future…etc, etc..
We have inner spaces we reside in during these hard times: one could be a place of fear, anxiety, frozen and one could be a place of ‘infinite possibilities’. Finding and being in a place of ‘infinite possibilities’ can have it challenges. But I am finding it to be the best place to rest these days.
I have been listening to Wayne’ Dyer’s Excuses Be Gone CD coming and going to work. He refers to the place of ‘infinite possibilities’ as the place to reside, no excuses.
I can feel the difference. ‘Infinite possibilities’ feels really ‘god’ no matter what is going on. It is childlike, it is creative, it is fun, it is expansive, it holds solutions! Yes!
If you find yourself in fear, anxiety, frozen, stop yourself, if you can. I invite you to contemplate your ‘infinite possibilities’! No matter what’s going on inside/outside.
There you may find better and more joy-filled answers and solutions.
Cheers!
Sherry
A Reason To Celebrate
I have a friend who sends me a card every year for 12 years to celebrate the day we met. I know of a parent who celebrates their child’s report card for the good grades instead of reprimanding for the less than perfect ones.
I have friends who make every Friday night ‘date night’ with their significant other to celebrate their love.
My father used to call me Elsa Maxwell (a famous party giver) because I would have a party at the drop of a hat. I remember having a ‘Play hooky from work day’ and about 40 of us went for a day cruise on a Thursday!
These celebrations create lasting memories and warm feelings. Years to come we will not remember the times we worked long hours or the times we sat and watched TV every night. We will however remember the fun times and the bonding we had with our friends and family and the special moments we created.
Holidays and Birthdays are not the only days to celebrate life. Find a reason to celebrate more and feel the fun and love that it provides. Share your celebration ideas with others so they can be inspired!
Begin by finding a reason to celebrate TODAY!
Enthusiastically,
Fran
Just Kidding Around
Whether by divine purpose or lovely accident, I have recently returned to some activities that brought me great happiness as a wee farm girl. By riding her bike, the lovely Ms. Watkins reminded my how much I loved riding my bike. So I cannon-balled back into cycling by signing up for a Leukemia & Lymphoma Society fundraiser that included a quick 100-mile spin around Lake Tahoe on June 6th of this year. Lucky me, to find myself with that fresh mountain air in my lungs, flying down hills and pumping up the tough climbs just like I did as kid on my blue Huffy. I have a lot more gears now and no banana seat, but what a ride! It was pure, wrapped in sunshine, joy that whole day.
This week, I have been ever so fortunate to travel to Hawaii with my parents and darling sister. It has been decades since I traveled with only my family of origin. Yesterday, we cruised beaches until we found a friendly looking low-riding surf. Then we paddled out to float on our backs and ride the waves with no intention of going anywhere. We just floated. Occasionally, to add interest, we would attempt some mild form of water ballet. It was more big, fat fun for me.
To add to the kid-style delight, early this morning I swam out past the breakers with my sister to snorkel. We laid face down on our bellies and barely flapped our flippers while watching fish after remarkable fish going about their daily chores. It was more ridiculous, happy stuff.
While travel is fabulous, it wasn’t the great locations that made these last few weeks especiallysatisfying. It was reconnecting with that little, barefoot girl who liked riding her bike as fast as she could and tromping around outside with no particular agenda.
Yes, work is awaiting me at the end of this week. There is much to do out there in the world of adult responsibilities and tuition bills. I can promise you that I will make more time for wind-in-my-messy-hair moments from now on. It has been grounding and spirit-filling. It has made me as happy as a mouthful of Jolly Ranchers. So here’s to reconnecting with that thing that floated your plastic, bathtub boat back when the days were long and someone tucked you in at night. May you find it and enjoy it. It’s good stuff, all of it.
The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor and create a life you are madly in love with. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. Visit often to read what the Joy Posse has to say, watch uplifting videos and gather other delightful resources that will make you smile. This is also a place to share what raises your Joy Factor - do tell! Let’s have the ripple effect of joy change the world!
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Joy Posse
Bernadette Peters (3)
Corinne Chaves (3)
Deb Cooperman (3)Derek Nowatzki (3)
Dr. Andy Vantreese (2)
Erica Burns (3)Fran Asaro (4)
Juliette Mansour (2)
Michelle Goss (3)
Rebecca Ewing (3)
Sandra Kellim (2)Sherry Wheat (2)
Tamara McElhannon (3)Tracey Lynne (2)
Tricia Molloy (3)
Trish Carr (3)
Wendy Watkins (50)