Eye on the Prize
They say that the best things in life are free. If that is true, then why do I want to go shopping so much?
I am happy and grateful to say I really do have everything I need. It is the things I want, that I crave, that drive me a bit crazy.
Recently, one of my favorite stores had their semi-annual 50% off everything in the store sale. Oh my gosh – I cannot resist amazing deals like that, yet this time, the first time in five years, I chose not to visit my would-be outfits and shoes. In a previous post about instant gratification, I’ve been paying attention to my insistent need for wanting things now! On the flip side, I’ve spent more time with my ten-year old niece, Emily; talking to her about saving money for the things she must have. Oh yes, I ‘m starting to sound like my parents and grandparents when I talk to my niece and nephew, and it is scaring me a bit.
As I look at my decision-making process around the things I want and the things I need, I notice that it all comes down to what my passions and intentions are in my life right now . One of the things that brings me immense joy is to travel and everything that goes with that; the research, planning and dreaming about the trip. The preparation and anticipation of going on a journey is as fun as the adventure itself.
When I have a trip or two on the calendar, they become my touchstone for my superfluous spending. Do I want those pants, or do I want to have those extra dollars for Portland? Those shoes are cute, but I bet they will have fabulous shoes in Italy. It all comes down to making conscious choices, choices that are in alignment with the things I really want. Now don’t get me wrong, if I need a new pair of shoes, I buy them. I’ve started to keep my eye on the prize, opting for holding out for the grand finale rather than just the door prize.
What I am noticing about this seemingly adult decision process is how good I feel about myself. This process boosts my self-worth and self-esteem because I ‘m actually doing what I told myself I’d do. When my Joy Factor increases in this way, all things are possible and I am the winner of the best prize every day.
Now, where is that shoe catalog?
If you would like to learn more about how to raise your Joy Factor, click here to receive my free e-book, 9 Tips for Living a Joyful Life.
The Gift
At the beach last month, I marveled at the gifts that Mother Nature shared with us daily. The sun came up and the sun went down-beautiful. The tide came in and the tide went out-sometimes very quickly. My cup was full and then it was empty-delicious.
Because of the leisurely pace that vacation offers, it was easier to slow down and enjoy these moments. The presents I received daily reminded me of the constant craving I have for a slower pace, so I can truly be in the moment and enjoy the gift of presence.
It is in the moment, where Eckhart Tolle points us, to the Power of Now. In this powerful book, Tolle shares the benefits of shifting your consciousness, away from the egoic mind, the thinking mind, to the present moment – what he refers to as now. This is a quest that so many of us are on, yearning for peace of mind and fulfillment.
When I returned home from vacation, it only took about a week for me to notice how hurriedmy pace had become causing me to lose the gift of the moment. I eased my foot off of the proverbial gas pedal that was propelling me forward and reconnected to the souvenirs I brought home from the beach.
- The sun will always rise and always set.
This gives me approximately 8 hours to accomplish what I want to accomplish in a day. When I put my attention on what’s most important and do the best I can, I’ll complete what I can. Whatever is not complete, will get done tomorrow. My “to-do” list is never complete. When I remember that, I can enjoy the task at hand, connect with the people I am spending time with and truly enjoy the moment.
- The tide comes in and goes out.
There are going to be days that I’m feeling good and operating at my best. There will also be days that my energy is lower and I will not be as energized, focused or excited about the items on my list. The gift here is to notice this energetic shift and to honor how you are feeling. The bonus gift to give yourself on days like this is to not beat yourself up for having a lower energy day. Your tide is out and it will come back in. Be gentle on yourself and get done what you can get done.
- My glass if full and then empty.
The best way for me to refill my glass, is to spend at least thirty minutes a day, four times a week, moving my body. Whether that is taking a spin class at the Y, swimming in the pool or walking Abbey and Eli( they love when I choose them), it helps me to fill up my cup with optimism and reduce the stress in my life.
These gifts are ingredients that you can weave into your recipe to create a more delicious life. You do not have to wait until you are on vacation to take advantage of these delightful presents. You can open them each and every day without spending time wrapping them.
To learn more about these gifts and how to raise your Joy Factor, click here to receive two free chapters from The Joy Factor Recipe Book – A Common Sense Approach to a Delicious Life.
What are you craving?
It seems I get a hankering for something satisfying day after day.
It could be something to eat, something to make or something to learn. It could be to spend time indoors or outdoors, walking or sitting. It is hard to say what my craving will be.
One thing I know for sure is that I get to choose, each and every day, how I will satisfy my desire.
I have a few criteria to help decide which direction to go. In my new book, The Joy Factor Recipe Book – A Common Sense Approach to a Delicious Life, I share recipes that will raise your Joy Factor, so you can attract more of what you want.
One of the ingredients I offer is to honor your passions. Your passions are the things that bring you the most fulfillment. When you make decisions from what you’re passionate about vs. what you think you should do, it opens up space for being pleased. Imagine experiencing satisfaction instead of distraction or frustration. How would that impact the flow of your day?
On a recent Sunday, all I really wanted to do was to stay home and chill out. My inner chatter had me believing I had too much to get done to sit and relax. Yes, I’ll always have a lot to accomplish. Thankfully, over my morning coffee, I remembered that one of my top passions is ‘to be satisfied with what is.’ With that in mind, I chose to stay in my pajamas. All day. I had to decide time and time again that this act of self-care (another ingredient in my book) was satisfying my craving for serenity.
Putting my attention on what’s most important to me, rather than running here and there and worrying about what I was missing by staying home, was wonderful. It gave me the energy and zest to ease into the week with a knowing that I honored my craving. That is delicious.
What are you craving? How will you satisfy that desire?
Learn more about The Joy Factor Recipe Book – A Common Sense Approach to your Delicious Life here.
For the Love of Learning
• philomathy •
Pronunciation: fi-lah-me-thee
Part of Speech: Noun
Meaning: The love of learning.
Notes: dating back to the end of the 16th century. Its family includes an adjective, philomathic or philomathical and an adverb philomathically. (Thanks to Dr. Goodword. www.alphadictionary.com)
“Personally I’m always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught.” —Sir Winston Churchill
Neither of my parents loved their jobs; they worked out of duty and responsibility. Nor could they understand how seduced and enthralled I was by design. My college years fueled me, and I recounted the connections, the ah-has, the gleanings at the dinner table most nights.
I have been fed, spiritually and professionally, by my life’s work.
To this day, I do my best work—indeed, my best living—when I am learning. With each client, an interesting conversation, a lecture or film, every book. . . opportunities abound. I am philomathic!
At TEDxAtlanta this week, I heard some mighty fine music, and 18 minutes from nine speakers who are experts in their field, all of whom have found something unique, some new take, or a spark that led to a new application or outcome. Each provocative and compelling.
Once home, I stared into space for a while, then phoned to cancel my evening plans. I’d had as much pleasure as I could take in for one day—like eating, and not being able to take another bite.
I feel such gratitude for my ability to think, feel and understand. The willingness to give what Dr. Rita Charon called “exquisite attention” to people who have such passion for their noble work, inspires me to listen more, do good, and be better.
Oh! How I love learning.
Carpe diem
If you haven’t discovered TED.com, don’t wait another minute. Go there NOW and watch this: http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/jill_bolte_taylor_s_powerful_stroke_of_insight.html
Then watch http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/eng/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html
Then, pick something—anything— at random, even something you think may not be interesting, and expect to be wowed.
the best present ever
As the year ends and people are celebrating various holidays by sharing gifts with each other, I thought I’d share a gift with you readers.
As you’re well aware (you’re reading a personal growth blog after all), there are skillions of pathways to growth and wellness. There’s meditation and feng shui, yoga and rebirthing, art therapy and Reiki, coaching and chakra regeneration (and if there isn’t there should be). There are so many different ways in, and I highly recommend that you find your favorite way(s) and go.
And if you’re even remotely called to write, don’t wait. Pick up a pen and write today.
It doesn’t matter where you start – randomly pick a word from the dictionary; write about the weather; your favorite movie; your favorite food; the song that you can’t get out of your head; the one that got away; what you want; the last news story you heard on TV that pissed you off; the first time someone you cared about died.
Write for 5 minutes if you feel overwhelmed by the blank page. Then write tomorrow for 5 more; or try for 10. The day will com
e when 50 minutes will feel like not nearly enough, I promise you.
Give writing some time and attention and it will bless you exponentially now and in the future.
I read in a book somewhere (if only I could remember who said it*) that writers live twice – once when it happens, and again when they write. I’d add one more life to that list: we live our lives again when we re-read what written.
What an amazing present for yourself: to unwrap your life again and again through writing. Reading your old writing can help you solve problems, de-stress and get perspective. It can amuse, educate, enlighten and comfort you. It can remind and inspire you; provide focus. Writing can set you on your way to a new adventure. Writing is an amazing gift.
Go ahead, give yourself a present.
Happy New Year.
<3 Deb
*if you know who said it, leave a comment; i’ll be eternally grateful. 
Is Passion a Compulsion
Have you ever run a marathon? NOT me. I hate running. I’ve tried…oh how I have tried. It never hooked me. I did not feel the endorphins. I simply struggled to get through the measly mile or two of torture.
It has hooked a friend of mine. I recently attended a race where my boyfriend’s twin brother ran a FIFTY-mile trail race through Pine Mountain, Georgia.
Is he crazy? Half of me admires him, the other half ask, why, why, why?
I’m amazed that the body can do that, and I think that is a big factor for him too. The difference is that I can be satisfied looking on from the sidelines, while he must make the 12-hour trek to prove it to himself.
I understand this, a little. I had a compulsion to travel the globe and did so for almost 2 years. I couldn’t be satisfied with seeing cultural shows on cable. I had to see it, experience it, and immerse myself in it. It wasn’t always easy, I was lonely here and there, but ultimately, I had a ton of fun and wouldn’t trade the enriching experience for anything.
Another area I do this is when I paint a painting (www.tamara-art.com). EVERY painting has a point where I think… it’s unsolvable…just toss it, but I cannot. I have to push through to the end. I have to make it work because the end result gives me the greatest sense of accomplishment. The end result makes it joyful.
I’m beginning to think that passion is just another name for a compulsion with a payoff, that being, accomplishment, joy, endorphins…
Is stress and redemption part of the passion process? How do we choose our passions? Do passions choose us?
These are the questions swimming around in my head today. I’d be interested to hear what your passion is about. Maybe, you have the answer.
Don’t Let the Bast**ds Get You Down!
Ever wonder why despite the ups and downs you continue doing what you do? Why you continue the daily grind, sometimes seeing little in return? Me too. Sometimes I think, “Why am I busting my a** doing this?” Where’s the reward? And then something magical happens to remind me…
It’s our big, annual event, the Prosperity Conference & Expo, a two-day coming together of like-minded, positive, success-oriented people joining forces with the express purpose of building our businesses and building our lives. A lineup of success speakers, millionaire mentors and victim to victory triumphs meant to inspire, educate and motivate. And the ultimate goal – to change lives. Marianne Williamson, author of “Return to Love” among other “Course in Miracles” based books said:
“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
That’s the goal of the Prosperity Conference – to demolish fear so that we embrace our power and use it to make our world not just better, but the best we can make it.
This year was the pinnacle. This year the breakthroughs were extraordinary. People sought me out the entire weekend to share their Ah-Ha Moments, the perfect partnerships they created, their epiphanies, that one thing they needed to see, hear, feel that’s now taking them to the next level. It was magical. Really, magical.
They reminded me that the time, effort, energy and work required to make the conference happen was beyond worth it. Putting on an event for hundreds of people is a major undertaking: selling tickets, managing speakers, enrolling volunteers, on and on and on…it was easy to get lost in the details and forget what I was working toward.
I’m changing my world even though I don’t always see it right away. So are you. In every person you touch, you change your piece of the world. You may not have a big annual event to provide immediate testimony, but you are changing your world nevertheless. What’s your vision, your dream? Look right now at your day to day, remind yourself of your vision, your passion, your dream. Keep going. There’s no feeling in the world like accomplishing what you set out to accomplish. It’s magical, it’s powerful and it’s joyful!
Don't Let the Bast**ds Get You Down!
Ever wonder why despite the ups and downs you continue doing what you do? Why you continue the daily grind, sometimes seeing little in return? Me too. Sometimes I think, “Why am I busting my a** doing this?” Where’s the reward? And then something magical happens to remind me…
It’s our big, annual event, the Prosperity Conference & Expo, a two-day coming together of like-minded, positive, success-oriented people joining forces with the express purpose of building our businesses and building our lives. A lineup of success speakers, millionaire mentors and victim to victory triumphs meant to inspire, educate and motivate. And the ultimate goal – to change lives. Marianne Williamson, author of “Return to Love” among other “Course in Miracles” based books said:
“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
That’s the goal of the Prosperity Conference – to demolish fear so that we embrace our power and use it to make our world not just better, but the best we can make it.
This year was the pinnacle. This year the breakthroughs were extraordinary. People sought me out the entire weekend to share their Ah-Ha Moments, the perfect partnerships they created, their epiphanies, that one thing they needed to see, hear, feel that’s now taking them to the next level. It was magical. Really, magical.
They reminded me that the time, effort, energy and work required to make the conference happen was beyond worth it. Putting on an event for hundreds of people is a major undertaking: selling tickets, managing speakers, enrolling volunteers, on and on and on…it was easy to get lost in the details and forget what I was working toward.
I’m changing my world even though I don’t always see it right away. So are you. In every person you touch, you change your piece of the world. You may not have a big annual event to provide immediate testimony, but you are changing your world nevertheless. What’s your vision, your dream? Look right now at your day to day, remind yourself of your vision, your passion, your dream. Keep going. There’s no feeling in the world like accomplishing what you set out to accomplish. It’s magical, it’s powerful and it’s joyful!
Passion, striped shirts, and vanilla lattes
I am so blessed to have been able to attend Wendy’s Passion Test workshop last weekend. While I wasn’t in the best of shape (no need to stay out until 6 in the morning – I am not 20 anymore… and I am closer to 40 than 30), WOW, did I get a lot out of it. First and foremost, I love being more in touch with my top 5 passions, and creating the opportunity to move, choose, create, decide in support of those TOP 5! I’m telling you NOW, sign up for her next one… it will fill up quick! My #1 passion – to be influenced by my connection to Source, not by what other people think. WHOA NELLY! Second, it SOOOOOO cool to see how the work is showing up. For example, I had a great conversation with my boyfriend about masculine and feminine and what it means to each to surrender, somewhere in the midst of this, he got a phone call, and I observed that he might be a while (sounded business related). In that moment, I could have sat still, and waited patiently, or I could surrender to the moment, and choose in alignment with my passion. I LOVE organizing space and creating synergy or systems of organization in closets, cupboards and the like. Crazy you say? Well, perhaps a bit OCD. Thats what you say – I say its a gift, and comes from source. Following my desire and my passion I made my way to his closet and started working my magic… pants here, t-shirts there, winter stuff on bottom, summer stuff up top… long sleeve, short sleeve, and even color coordinated. I am just guessing, but there might have been somewhere in the ball park of 27 striped shirts! He came in after getting off the phone and I greeted him with, “No more striped shirts!” He laughed out loud, “I like stripes!” Upon seeing what I had created in that little room in the back of his bedroom, he was truly grateful, and impressed. WOW! That looks amazing! And I know where everything is!
Letting go of being so influenced by what people think (including my own inner self judgments), allowing spirit to move through me, whether organizing a closet or sipping on a vanilla latte at Aurora… what a joy!
Passionate Breadcrumbs
If passions are the breadcrumbs that lead to a fulfilling life, where do you find the breadcrumbs? I am not talking about the ones you find on Aisle 3 at the grocery store. You’ll find these breadcrumbs when you stop long enough to answer the question, “What does living my best life really look like?” When you determine that and start to align your life around your passions, you are using one of the core ingredients to raise your Joy Factor- Connecting To Your Passion.
Passion can be expressed as a feeling of unusual excitement, enthusiasm, or compelling emotion towards a subject, idea, person, or object. When you have a passion for something you have a strong positive affinity for it. It is amazing what happens when you put your attention to the things that are most important in your life.
As a certified facilitator of The Passion Test, I have watched magic happen again and again. One of my clients here in Atlanta took the test in October of 2009. I saw him at a meeting on Tuesday and he told me that since he took the Passion Test his income has doubled. That made my heart sing. Did I mention that The Passion Test is a test that you will never fail?
Imagine what your life will be like when you are clear about what your best life is. As Janet Bray Attwood, co-author of the New York Times bestselling book The Passion Test states, “Clarity is power.” Once you gain clarity on your passions, you can use them as a compass, moving you in the direction that brings you the most fulfillment. Doesn’t that sound delightful?
Tomorrow’s ingredient du jour: Authentic Expression
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The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. The intention of this site is to offer you juicy nuggets that will increase your experience of joy and delight. Take a look around, grab something yummy and share the joy.
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