Giving back, slacker style
Oh my. Following through on my commitment to do a good deed every week in my 50th year on earth is a tad more difficult than I anticipated. Always the optimist, I made my commitment with a light heart and a big agenda. The truth is, I work 50 or 60 hours a week. The time left over is spent with my family. In the real world where I live, that doesn’t leave a whole bunch of time for “other” stuff.
While I am on task with my year of giving, I definitely feel that I need to step it up. I have kept a list of the things I have done and I am technically a little ahead of schedule. So far, so good, right? So far….so far, I have taken the easy road. Gifts for people that provide the services I use everyday, free coffee for the people behind me in line at Starbucks, extreme generosity in traffic and in grocery store lines…truly, not one young mother has opened a door in my presence! Our salon serves food in a homeless shelter once a month. Beautiful. Yet, I am itching to step out of my comfort zone a bit more. I guess I am outing myself as a slacker-giver. I am vowing to get sweaty, to use my hands and not my pocketbook, to do more. What “more” will look like, I can’t say. My promise is simply to do it.
Admitting I am disappointed does not take away from the little joy cloud I have created for a dozen or so strangers and myself. I do believe that my simple acts of kindness, my smile, my helpful hand and the complimentary java have bumped up the happiness quotient around town. I agree with Mother Teresa who said, “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.” Hopefully, a ripple effect is happening as I type. Maybe what I really am is a greedy giver. Because a little ripple is great…but darn it, I want more.
Ahhh, Spring…
Springtime in South Florida…
When I say that, people often ask, “How do you know its spring?” To the untrained eye, it’s always green, sunny and deliciously beautiful here. Well, that’s true too, but we do have one, you just have to notice. When you pay attention, you can fully experience the subtle transition from winter to spring.
While we don’t have the obvious signs like the absence of snow and subsequent thaw, we do have lots of clues that the vernal equinox is upon us. Like the abundant golden yellow bloom on the Tabebuia trees and the sweet-smelling flowers of the Frangipani, both of which are relatively bare in winter. Then there’s the remarkably fragrant Datura tree with long, hanging flowers that look like its common name, Angel Trumpets.
Every day I’m welcomed home with the scents of jasmine and gardenia, the bright colors of impatiens, petunias and pansies. It’s truly a “sense-sensation.” Spring has sprung and I’m sick with the fever. The next time you’re feeling down, take a walk outside and notice spring. It’s everywhere and it’s beautiful! Anyone want to join me for a walk in the garden?
What Will You Give Up and Get in Return?
During the season of Lent, many Christians give up something for 40 days in preparation for Easter.
When I was young, my ultimate sacrifice was always the same: Chocolate. Sometimes I was successful. Mostly, not.
Now, this ritual holds more meaning as I choose to give up something that no longer serves me. Think about a self-defeating belief or behavior or destructive habit. It might be your tendency to judge others, worrying about things you have no control over, or spending too much time watching TV or on Facebook. Then, contemplate what you’ll receive in return. Perhaps a sense of peace or more time to focus on what matters.
To make this sacrifice easier and to fool that part of you that resists any kind of change, assure yourself it’s only for a week, or month or maybe 40 days. Use strategies like affirmations and visualization to strengthen your resolve.
I’m still deciding what I’ll give up but I already know, whatever it is, I’ll get much more in return. And I know it won’t be chocolate.
Create Your Own Joy
Dogs have a way of showing us how easy joy and happiness is to have in our life every day. Take some time today to uncover what truly brings you joy and then go about doing it! Woof…
Valentine’s Day – Good Day, or Bad Day?
Hip, hip hooray! This year, it was a good day.
Valentine’s Day is not a day I can ignore. It’s the day after my birthday, and my wedding day was on Valentine’s Day.
Getting married on this holiday wasn’t a greatest idea since the marriage didn’t last. It took years to get over the anniversary of my failed marriage.
I also get annoyed with the yearly complaints about how the day was created by retailers and that evil commercialism is taking advantage of us all, but who says you have to buy into that?
I’ve never held anything against V-Day, or birthdays, because I think they are about acknowledging of the important people in your life. A small show of appreciation is an uplifting and nice thing to do.
Huge celebrations and grand gestures are fun from time to time, but what really fills my soul is when I get a card with a hand written personal note and/or a simple flower. Look me in the eye and tell me that I mean something to you and I’m happy as a lark.
Holidays, like this one, are simply a reminder to take a moment to say “I love you”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m glad that you are here”.
So, I’d like to take this moment to say that I APPRECIATE YOU!
Thanks for reading my blog.
Frozen Hexagons
I was reading an article in the newspaper the other day that was discussing “Hexagons of Frozen Precipitation.” What the heck is that? After a few seconds of pondering came to realize that the writer was talking about snow, I love snow! A hexagon of frozen precipitation is not the kind of thing I would like to catch on my tongue, but I love to catch snowflakes. The meteorologists say that no two flakes are the same, but my tongue never discriminates.
I grew up in the winter lands outside of Milwaukee, where the snows first fall between the middle of October and Thanksgiving. Generally the snow finally recedes and gives the baseball fields back to their owners in March or early April. As a child there is so much to do and make with snow—balls, angels, men, igloos, tunnels, shoveling money and much more. I remember lying in bed at night and just watching the snow fall by the street light, as I was drifting into midwinter slumber land.
Last month snow covered most of the U.S., with my Atlanta covered in a nice blanket for almost a week. The kids sprung from their homes with sleds, saucers and all kinds of makeshift vehicles. For hours they would allow gravity to slide them down the hills, and then struggle through the perilous footing back to the top, just to let gravity repeat the process back down the hill. At the point of near exhaustion, they bust back into the houses from which they had sprang to be greeted and rejuvenated by a cup of steaming hot chocolate and a cozy fireplace. While the adults worry about deductibles, missed school days and frost bite, the kids can’t wait until their boots dry out so they can go back out for one more visit. The joys and exhilarations of winter!
Joy in the time of…
Yesterday it snowed almost a foot of beautiful, white snow all around my new neighborhood. There we were at around 8000 feet in the Colorado foothills west of Denver. At slightly lower elevation the ground was clear and dry and as I went to shop at a large warehouse store for an upcoming cooking marathon. We competed with the party shoppers preparing for Super Bowl Sunday. As we drove back up to elevation, the cars thinned out, more trees grew, deer and elk girded themselves against the storm, and the vistas became more and more picture perfect with beautiful layers of fluffy white adorning every branch, field and rooftop within eyesight. Up there the clouds were low and thick as the snow continued to fall, albeit gently, for hours. Up there we felt remote from the competition of the city, the striving and emotional stress of living in close quarters with many other humans.
In this remote area I realized that my emotional response to either environment, was just that – a response. When in the thick of the city, it behooved me to remember to stay present and aware of whose emotions were flitting across the internal landscape and that they were not all mine. Compassion welled up as awareness dawned of those who were not so happy, compassion surfaced for their grief, anger, or jealousy. Even better was when my joy matched those around who are joyful or created and generated joy in others.
In the stillness of my remote space, I can more readily resonate directly with the individual and more readily recognize where there is pain, where there is joy… Perhaps we can find that space of generating joy, allowing it to flow outward in a wave of tsunami proportions to wash around all those who are around us, we can become the generators of the joy factor, rather than solely responding to the pain around!!!
Are You “The One”?
My sister always says, “You never know when you’ll meet ‘The One.” You know, the one person who can introduce you to the CEO you want as a client, or the celebrity you want to meet, or the person who’ll give you your dream job…you get the picture. Until last week, my favorite story about that was when I met a young man at a conference who wanted a job with the Florida Panthers hockey team and he told the event speaker about it. From the stage, the speaker mentioned his desire. A hand went up in the audience, “I babysit for the owner of the Panthers.” Wow.
That was my favorite story until…
I’m at Starbucks ordering a latte. In front of me is a man trying to figure out what to order. Me, being the friendly girl I am, I offer a couple of suggestions and we start chatting. He says he’s an artist and avoids caffeine when he’s working. “It makes me jittery too,” I tell him. What type of art?” I ask. “I’m a photographer,” I ask for more details. “I photograph people mostly,” he says. Still curious, again I ask for more “Well, he says, I’m the photographer for Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band.” My heart stopped. OMG, here, right in front of me — “The One.”
You see, I don’t just like Bruce Springsteen, I’ve been a crazy fan for years. I travel to shows, collect memorabilia, own all the bootlegs! And here’s someone who works for the man we reverently call, “The Bruce.”
Every day people cross your path. Every day there’s the opportunity to connect with “strangers,” people who have the power to bring your dreams to life.
Today treat each person you meet as if they are “The One.” Make a decision to connect with people, to say hello, to chat, to share yourself and share your joy. It’s a small world and when you treat it that way, magic happens! Oh, yes, the photographer and I are staying in touch. I’ve got another “The One” yet to meet…
Are You "The One"?
My sister always says, “You never know when you’ll meet ‘The One.” You know, the one person who can introduce you to the CEO you want as a client, or the celebrity you want to meet, or the person who’ll give you your dream job…you get the picture. Until last week, my favorite story about that was when I met a young man at a conference who wanted a job with the Florida Panthers hockey team and he told the event speaker about it. From the stage, the speaker mentioned his desire. A hand went up in the audience, “I babysit for the owner of the Panthers.” Wow.
That was my favorite story until…
I’m at Starbucks ordering a latte. In front of me is a man trying to figure out what to order. Me, being the friendly girl I am, I offer a couple of suggestions and we start chatting. He says he’s an artist and avoids caffeine when he’s working. “It makes me jittery too,” I tell him. What type of art?” I ask. “I’m a photographer,” I ask for more details. “I photograph people mostly,” he says. Still curious, again I ask for more “Well, he says, I’m the photographer for Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band.” My heart stopped. OMG, here, right in front of me — “The One.”
You see, I don’t just like Bruce Springsteen, I’ve been a crazy fan for years. I travel to shows, collect memorabilia, own all the bootlegs! And here’s someone who works for the man we reverently call, “The Bruce.”
Every day people cross your path. Every day there’s the opportunity to connect with “strangers,” people who have the power to bring your dreams to life.
Today treat each person you meet as if they are “The One.” Make a decision to connect with people, to say hello, to chat, to share yourself and share your joy. It’s a small world and when you treat it that way, magic happens! Oh, yes, the photographer and I are staying in touch. I’ve got another “The One” yet to meet…
The Kitchen Table and a Pole in the Garden
It is said that when mystic and poet Rumi heard of his dearest friend’s passing, he was filled with acute sorrow at the loss, yet at the same time, such gratitude for many years of deep friendship, that the only thing he could do was turn in circles around a pole in his garden.
Thus was the inspiration for “the Turn,” the spiritual dance repeated the world over by Sufis also known as the Whirling Dervishes.
I understand, now, how that simple motion can harness energy too great to handle, but in May of 1968, when I was twelve, I did not know.
How insufferable that half-day of school had been. I looked at the clock a million times and thought my exams would never be over. Then, finally, I ran full out from the bus stop to my mother’s kitchen table. My brother returned that morning from Viet Nam—wounded, decorated, and ALIVE.
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. (I alternated) To sit, or leap and shout. (I did both.) I wanted to bury myself in his arms, but then I couldn’t see his face. Silly grins melted to tears, then back again. The kitchen seemed ready to implode from rampant, unchecked emotion, but no one could leave the room. What do you say? What do you not say? How long until I would breathe normally again?
Watching the 33 miners and six rescuers in Chile emerge a couple of months ago wore me out. The glee, the relief, the rawness kept me riveted to the online live feed. When the last man exited the Phoenix, the ground team circled close and hooted, hollered, cheered, and pumped the air with their fists. Theirs was that state beyond joy, so untamed and jubilant that few humans know what to do with it. Usually, like a child, we ride the high until we collapse from fatigue.
Great joy can be nearly unbearable. When it is, turn. Or get to your kitchen table, the safe space where the wildness can wax and wane. Joy will find it’s perfect, delicious, manageable level.
Carpe diem
Rebecca
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The Joy Factor
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