The Flip Side of Negativity
I don’t know about you but I will often make a certain situation ‘wrong’, ‘hard’ or ‘negative’. It’s a natural thing that when I feel challenged – there must be something wrong.
Recently I began doing an exercise that has been monumental when it comes to my translating a circumstance. When I feel a pull to judge what’s happening as negative, I now ask myself.. Is it REALLY negative or am I just saying it is because it’s unfamiliar and I don’t know what else to call it. What if it were a blessing? What if it were a life lesson and I am poo pooing all over it because it’s foreign or maybe even too familiar? Because there ARE those times when some things occur over and over again and we say.. This is ridiculous, and feel you like a victim of a constant reoccurring episode.
For instance, I have a family member who is very good at pushing my buttons. They have been doing so for many years in many upsetting ways. When this happens, every ounce of growth I have accumulated over my lifetime goes out the window. I yell, I blame, I may even use profanity. Now to the naked eye this looks like a ‘bad’ thing. But what if I were to turn this situation into a positive thing. (how the heck do you do that you say?)
What if I were to say, look at this wonderful opportunity I have to evolve. How could I have ever done this without this person in my life to show me who I am in the face of adversity. What a gift.
With that said, I seem to calm down, and embrace the situation with love and gentleness. Not always, but more and more. And the results benefit all involved.
Take a look at the flip side of negativity. See what lies before you as a gift.
Happy New Year
Enthusiastically,
Fran
Nobody Does It Better
When you look into the mirror
When you look outside the box
When you peek into the depths of you
That’s when opportunity knocks
You bring this world a value
That to others will attach
You have that way about you
Than no one else can match
Continuing to learn from others
On top of each other we are built
We all bring an attribute
That creates a patchwork quilt
None of this could happen
Should you refuse to play along
Your participation is required
To launch this universal song
Nobody does it better
That thing there that you do
So bring it to the table
To share the gift of you.
Fran Asaro
Make It Up As You Go Along
How in the world do we get all the wisdom that we have by the time we are up in years? Where did we get the data, the rules, the wherewithal to become the person we are becoming?
Some of us follow someone else’s advice. We follow what we are told will provide the way. Then there are those of us who make it all up as we go along. We get to decide what type of human being we want to be, what type of parent and what type of boss or employee we wish to become. Sometimes we don’t realize it but actually we are the ones who get to choose throughout our entire lives, the quality of it, and the joy that we experience. Yes we are that powerful.
I find myself during challenging times thinking, ‘how did I get myself in this circumstance?” and then I realize that nothing happens without my participation. So I choose again. I make up a new path, a new routine, and yes even a new way of being so that my life continues to unfold into my ideal.
One time I decided I was worth more than I was making. I made up a new acceptable income for myself. Within a year I had reached it. I have also made up my own attitude about every day occurrences. I made up that it all turns into gold anyway so why not be in the best spirit I can be while I am faced with hurdles.
Life is a game as they say. This alone makes it fun, but when it becomes YOUR game and you know you get to make it all up as you go along, imagine how alive it feels.
Affirmation for today: I am the designer of my life. I create it from this day forward.
Enthusiastically,
Fran
Dancing In The Rain
One of my most memorable evenings was many years ago when a dear friend overheard me say that I would love to dance in the rain. He proceeded to fulfill a vision for and with me. And because of that night I will never be the same.
As if he had put much thought into it, one rainy night while he was visiting, he prepared soft music to play by the back door as well as the outside lighting and then proceeded to escort me to my patio for a very wonderful rain dance.
Even though this man was not a ‘love’ per se, I thought it to be one of the most romantic and free spirited evenings. I seemed to have released the fact that my make-up was dripping from my face and my clothes were now so soggy that they drooped on my body. I didn’t pay attention to being out of step with him and the fact that I don’t dance very well. I also let go of the fact that someone might see or something may not have been perfect. All I remember was the moment. The moment the music played, him holding me and the rain gently caressing me.
This man brought me such joy that night. I have not seen him for many years but he remains someone special because of the love he gave to me.
I have another friend who is equally mindful of her friend’s dreams. She goes out of her way to make sure she does her part to have them realized. She buys tickets to concerts of their favorite bands or creates the most memorable evenings. You know, the ones you will talk about for the rest of your life.
Some people have a built in joy system. They do whatever it takes to bring joy to someone’s life. They ‘listen’ for an opportunity to fulfill a wish. Those people teach me how to be a better listener when it comes to bringing joy to others. They are my teachers, since bringing joy to others is important to me.
Wanting to bring joy to the world and acting upon it are two separate entities. One actually produces miraculous results.
So turn up your volume of listening, and bring joy to those around you by surprising them with a fulfilled wish!
Enthusiastically,
Fran
Let The Good Times Roll
Do you have anyone in your life who talks about their past a lot? You know, the person who reminisces about all the good times they had and how wonderful life was ‘back then’? It’s wonderful to recapture good times and laugh at how things were. It makes for great conversation and warm moments.
But what about letting the good times roll into the present and the future? Are you keeping your best years behind you or are you creating new memories for years to come? It’s so important to keep your fun thoughts on present and future to continue the moment of a good life.
What do you have to look forward to? A vacation? A new venture? Maybe a new love? When we begin to envision our lives expanding into wonderfulness it keeps us young at heart and having a reason to be alive!
Start by taking a few moments and jotting down what it is you would like to create for yourself. Don’t judge, just write it all down. Then make a check list and begin exploring some of those things. Some call this a bucket list. It doesn’t have to be something huge. You can write down that you want to have a sleep over party with your friends (yes even adults have sleepovers!) Or join a hiking group. Think big and think small. If it inspires you and it feels like fun, then write it down. Maybe you will do them all or not but how fun will it be to try to complete your list.
Maybe you can even give it a name. For instance, many of us have heard of a vision board. What about calling this your ‘Joy Board’ filled with all the things you want to do for fun and to create memories.
Hopefully, even the thought of a joy board will have your good times roll into your NOW. Fun was not just meant for our youth or our past. Create anew everyday!
Enthusiastically,
Fran
Joy Comes in Different Packages
Have you ever seen someone who looks really happy? You know the type of person you want to be around because they are fun and exciting and you want their energy ALL over you. Maybe you even hope that one day you can have as much joy as that person. Wow, what would it take to be that happy?
First of all, most likely that person is that happy because they choose to be. It’s not because life is better for them then it is for you. It’s just a decision they made to bring out the joy in their experiences.
Second of all, not all people who have joy, wear it on their sleeves. Some have a very subdued joy. The type where life is good, and yet, they don’t need to be so overt about it. Somehow though you can sense that they have it anyway. Sort of like the difference between those who flash their money when they are rich and those who have money but are very discreet about it. You can tell they have a certain dignity and maturity about their wealth. Well the same goes for joy. Neither are right or wrong. Just different ways to display the same thing.
Having a subdued level of joy can be more rewarding for some, especially as they get older. Not having to bounce off the walls to tell the world you are happy is a nice feeling. You can harness that joy and bring it inward. Not to be stingy, but to emanate it – to be a walking demonstration of inner, pure and collective joy.
So for today, know that joy comes in different packages. We get to share ours any way that seems to fit – just make sure you share it. Because the world needs your joy.
Happy Friday
Enthusiastically,
Fran
A Reason To Celebrate
I have a friend who sends me a card every year for 12 years to celebrate the day we met. I know of a parent who celebrates their child’s report card for the good grades instead of reprimanding for the less than perfect ones.
I have friends who make every Friday night ‘date night’ with their significant other to celebrate their love.
My father used to call me Elsa Maxwell (a famous party giver) because I would have a party at the drop of a hat. I remember having a ‘Play hooky from work day’ and about 40 of us went for a day cruise on a Thursday!
These celebrations create lasting memories and warm feelings. Years to come we will not remember the times we worked long hours or the times we sat and watched TV every night. We will however remember the fun times and the bonding we had with our friends and family and the special moments we created.
Holidays and Birthdays are not the only days to celebrate life. Find a reason to celebrate more and feel the fun and love that it provides. Share your celebration ideas with others so they can be inspired!
Begin by finding a reason to celebrate TODAY!
Enthusiastically,
Fran
Enjoying The Ride
What good is it if you finish your ‘to do’ list but you had absolutely no joy in your day?
Some of us are more committed to completing our list than to having fun and feeling peace.
Consider this: You can have both… Really
Our lives are made up of a series of goals. Whatever they are; marriage, success, new home, children, losing weight, we all have them. In order to achieve these goals we do preparatory work to get there. Let’s call this the ‘process’.
In most cases, whether it’s one or 1000, our goals are finite. We have something set in our mind and think ‘getting there’ will be the ultimate feeling. However, we have MUCH more process time in our life then we have goal achievement time. What that says is, if you are hanging around just for the good feeling you get from the goal, you are missing all the good feeling you can have with the process.
We’ve all heard the term ‘enjoy the ride’. But do you? Do you enjoy the ride before you get to your destination or are you attached to the final outcome only? Imagine increasing your joy by embracing the in-between time. We do this first by deciding to do so and then by being in the moment and not in the future. Staying in your vision is wonderful, but don’t let it be at the expense of missing the joy of your moment.
For today, enjoy the ride, dance with the in-between time, embrace the process of your life and increase your joy.
Enthusiastically,
Fran
The Joy Factor
Welcome fellow Happiness Pioneers! You've come to the right place if you are looking to raise your Joy Factor. My vision is for everyone to live a life aligned with their passions and full of joy. The intention of this site is to offer you juicy nuggets that will increase your experience of joy and delight. Take a look around, grab something yummy and share the joy.
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