Funky or Dressy?
There are times when we think our connection to our purpose has to look or feel a certain way Some days I feel like it has to look very dressy; buttoned-up and prim and proper. Those days feel like they are going less with the flow; days that I feel like I have to make things happen. I am working on my projects and with my clients and it feels like work. The “shoulds” show up and I may do things that I really do not want to do, but feel like I should. No fun, less joy!
Other days, I feel like my connection to my purpose of supporting others in being the best they can be looks more funky and eclectic. Those days, I feel more creative, more juicy, as author Sark would say. Things seem to flow more. Those are the days that my Joy Factor is way up there and amazing things happen.
What is different about those days than the buttoned-up days? Those are the days that I let go of wondering about what other people think. That is one of my personal challenges; I let that get in the way of staying connected to my purpose and my authentic self. On this journey of increasing my Joy Factor, I like wearing my funky clothes and allowing magic to happen, in connection to my purpose. You?
Wendy is a joyful, vibrant human being who sees possibilities everywhere she goes. Whether she is working with a coaching client, creating a piece of art or riding her bicycle 100 miles in one day, the joy of possibility is one of her favorite perspectives. Alot of her joy comes from spending time with her husband Matt and their 2 four-legged kids, Abbey Road and Eli. It also comes from listening to good music, spending time in nature, eating good food and being with friends and family. When all of that happens together, she is in joyful bliss.
I always feel like when I’m dressed nicely that I’m playing “dress up,” like when I go to work in heels and slacks, I feel like I’m trying to be my mom. I only own these types of work clothes because these are the types of jobs I’ve always had. I don’t know that I want to continue wearing these clothes, meaning that I’m not sure I want to continue working in the type of environment where I have to dress like my mother to have people take me seriously. I look like everyone else, shopping at the same chain stores as my co-workers. My clothing should be an expression of my personality. My personality does not fit in with this corporate environment, especially lately. I’m pretty sure I’d be more productive in a pair of sweat pants and slippers than I would in a pair of heels and pinstripes. In these clothes, it’s all about playing a part, not playing myself.
Hi Wendy
I love the funky, eclectic days, but I also—sometimes—savor the button-up days. Those are the days when I’m dealing with numbers or legal issues — contracts, bookkeeping, estimating, etc.. Even if I never leave my desk, if I’m in a dress and a dress shoe, with makeup and maybe even a strand of pearls, I am able to stay on task and be efficient, proficient, and effective until the task is done. Those aspects of my business may never be great fun, but are things I must do to do the fun stuff. Then, when I’m done, I kick off the shoes, open a bottle of wine, and finger the pearls, so happy with myself and my accomplishments I can barely contain it!
Now, the days when I get to play with paint and fabric and wood finishes and floors and furnishings are a different story. Colorful Crocs or spiffy sandals, a cotton knit or linen (guaranteed to wrinkle), maybe makeup or maybe not. Yes, it is a totally different energy.
And downtime, or a real vacation, means being in pajamas for over 24 hours. Those are days I get to read novels and knit and putter in the kitchen.
How very cool that I have the choice and the flexibility to wear whatever will serve me best, or what will give the greatest rapport with others in whatever context. And how amazing that some sewn-together fabric can make my day better and easier.
Carpe Diem
Rebecca
Great noticing Erica! What is one thing that you could do to feel less like you are “dressing up” and more like Erica?
The more you honor that authentic side, the more joy you will experience. The more joy you experience, the easier it will be for what the next right thing is for you to appear. Try it … maybe it has something to do with your shoes! I love shoes!
I’m not very typical about having an interest in clothes, I guess. I haven’t had much experience expressing myself in that way. When I worked in a corporate environment, I hated having to “dress” each day, do the makeup and hair, etc. These days I keep my dress style like my attitude – laid back, easy, wash and wear. But I do have a stash of festival clothes, and used to love costumes . . .now it’s usually jeans. And nothing beats authentic, designer naked! lol
Rebecca,
The flexibility is the best. That allows us the space to be who we really are. When we can be who we really are, magic happens. We are magicians you know!
I love that designer Vic, you can’t get more authentic than naked … designer naked no less!
I’ve been lucky to always work in casual environments; when I lost my job in February, and the only options open seemed to be contracting in big corporations, I just couldn’t see myself doing it. Not only do I not own the wardrobe, but I couldn’t envision myself dressing up like that on a daily basis. That’s just not me.
But since I was young, my mental picture of me as my “best self” has been that uberprofessional woman who’s always dressed up, always wears makeup, perfect hair, perfect shoes. I’m still in the process of consciously letting go of that image of myself as a “grown up” and accepting what my grown up life really looks like, as a businesswoman and, now, an entrepreneur. Starting my own business is forcing me to re-evaluate and re-formulate that “best self” image — which is a great exercise! I’m fascinated by how (more than I’d like to admit) my career choice was based on clothing and the atmosphere that comes with dressing in a certain way…
Sara,
There is a theme showing up here, how we have seen ourself in the past and how we can step into being who we are today. It is all about noticing, in each and every moment, who we are and who we are becoming and honoring that noticing. The beautiful thing, is that as entreprenuers, we get to make it up the way wa want it to be.
Today, I am funky and fabulous!
What I’m getting from this post is that it’s not so much about the clothes, but about the metaphor of them: what’s “flow” (whether clothes or your stride or the way you answer the telephone). Like Rebecca says: it’s about the choice … and like you say, it’s about making it up the way we want to – feeling the freedom to choose and holding our essence center stage, no matter what the set-dressing.
(but if it IS about the clothes … if i have to dress a bit more “for them” for a work-related event, i’ll often wear fabulous underthangs like maybe a garter and hose, just to remember that i’m one fabulicous drag queen underneath it all!)
Smooches,
Deb
I have this frame of reference that as a business owner I have to “project” a certain look. How I could go to a chamber of commerce function tends to lean more corporate (e.g. I just bought a suit for my grandma’s funeral and I plan to also use it for those “corporate” networking events). But…here’s the rub, i took this black suit and put a bright purple shell under it with a whole arm full of bracelets – just in doing that I feel like I let me shine regardless of the “suit”.
After all, I’m totally into everything Indian style…I might just have to bust out to an event one day wearing a sari
I believe that we can be “professional” AND have flair. I love what Meg said about adding a purple shell under a black suit. That’s a good start. Try Orange next time, or bright yellow. Or better yet, ditch the suit entirely and wear separates that sing. Don’t wear it unless you love it. Period. Your clothes are an expression of who you are — don’t worry what others think. Be neat, clean, sharp, pulled-together with accessories and make a statement with color. You’ll stand out while remaining “professional” BUT NOT STUFFY!